Page 85 of Darlin'

Liam nods, beaming up at his mother. "Awesome!"

"He's been here for a couple of years now," Jo says in a quiet voice as she sidles up beside me at the far end of the room. Sighing, she smiles at Liam and his mother. "I never know how to feel when we come back, and the same kids are still here. A part of me is glad to see them again because..." She swallows, holding her chest. "When you don't see them, it could mean only one of two things."

"His poor mother..." My chest tightens as I watch Beau and Liam play with the monster trucks. "This must be a nightmare for her." I sneak a peek at Jo as she tears up. "For any parent."

"It is," she whispers in a knowing tone as she wipes atear off her cheek. She quickly takes a sharp breath, snapping her head to Marlow and Pippa, who are lingering in the hallway. "We should go. Lots of rooms left."

"Okay," I say to Jo, then turn my attention to Beau. "You coming?"

Beau grins at Liam, giving him a high-five. "I'll be back in a bit, okay?"

"Okay!"

"You're good with kids," I note as Beau wraps his arm around my shoulder and leads me out of the room. "He seems to really like you."

"Kid's dope," Beau says, glancing back at the room. "Big college ball fan. Sometimes I come here on weekends, and we watch games together."

I raise a brow. "Really?"

"Yeah, we all take turns visiting," he says as we turn the corner. "Haven't been going as much as we've wanted to this summer, but...maybe soon."

"Maybe," I mutter, anxiety fluttering in my stomach as I scan the hallway. "Have you seen Jesse around? He said he'd meet us up here."

"Uh—" Beau purses his lips. "No, I don't think so." He calls out to Tiny. "Hey! You know where JP went?"

Tiny shrugs. "Might be outside?"

"Still?" I shake Beau's arm off me. "I'll find you, okay?"

"Hey, you."

Sitting underneath a no-smoking sign, I find Jessehunched over, huffing on a cigarette and staring at his shoes. I sit down beside him on the bench.

"Thought you were coming in?"

Jesse doesn't raise his head. "I'm fine."

"You sure don't look fine to me," I note softly, rubbing his back. "We can leave, you know. We don't gotta stay here if you don't?—"

"I'm fine!" Jesse spits, tone wavering and raw as he shakes his head. "Fuck..." He grumbles out in frustration, lifting his head and glancing at me through bloodshot eyes. My heart pangs seeing him so distraught. “I’m sorry...I didn't mean to snap at you. I just?—"

"It's okay," I whisper, scooting closer to him.

"It's not okay," he breathes, running a tense hand through his hair. "I—" He swallows. "I tried to go in. I—I went in. I made it...I made it around the corner, and then..." He flicks his cigarette and clenches his knuckles. "Fuck."

"It's okay," I say again, taking his hand in mine as he leans his head on my shoulder. "You're okay."

His jaw tightens, voice faltering as he reveals, "She was in ICU for a week. A whole fucking week. These fucking doctors kept telling us to have hope, that we shouldn't give up. But that was a load of shit. They're all full of shit." I feel a hot tear drop on my arm, but I'm not the one crying. "There were so many fucking tubes and bandages and—" His body shivers. "I didn't even recognize her. Doctor's kept saying it was a miracle she didn't die on impact. That we were lucky. They must have been talking about another patient because there was nothing lucky about the way my mom looked."

"Was she in an accident?" I ask gently, stroking his fingers. "Is that what happened?"

"I told her to walk home," Jesse sniffles, a pool of tears pouring on my arm as he speaks. "I told her she was too fucked to ride. But did she listen? Did she ever fucking listen?! I should've stopped her. I should've taken her keys. I shouldn't have?—"

"It's not your fault," I whisper, kissing the top of his head as my heart breaks for him. "It's not your?—"

"JP! Sav!" Jo hollers, coming through the automatic doors. She frowns, keen gaze darting to our clasped hands. Jesse immediately stiffens beside me, turning quickly to the side to wipe the evidence of emotion from his face. "Everything good out here?"

"Everything's fine," I lie, putting on a fake smile. "I just needed some fresh air. I felt a little sick."

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