We’re at the typewriter again, Lenora in her wheelchair and me standing beside her as I place her left hand atop the keys. A fresh page sits in the carriage, replacing the one from last night. Now faceup on the desk, it serves as a partial transcript of our conversation.
i want to tell you everything
things ive never told anyone else
yes about that night
because i trust you
But I don’t trust Lenora.
Not entirely.
She’s capable of so little yet accused of so much, and I remain torn between wanting to protect her and the urge to suspect her.
But if she wants to tell me what happened, I’m willing to listen.
Even though I suspect most of it will be lies.
Or, worse, the complete, terrifying truth.
The fingers of Lenora’s left hand drum against the keys. She’s eager to begin. I take a deep breath, nod, and help her type the first sentence.
The thing I remember most
The thing I remember most--the thing I still have nightmares about--is when it was all but over.
I remember the roar of the wind as I stepped onto the terrace. It blew off the ocean in howling gusts that scraped over the cliff before slamming directly into me. Rocked onto my heels, I felt like I was being shoved by an invisible, immovable crowd back toward the mansion.
The last place I wanted to be.
With a grunt, I regained my footing and started to make my way across the terrace, which was slick from rainfall. It was pouring, the raindrops so cold that each one felt like a needle prick. Very quickly I found myself snapped out of the daze I’d been in. Suddenly alert, I began to notice things.
My nightgown, stained red.
My hands, warm and sticky with blood.
The knife, still in my grip.
It, too, had been bloody but was now quickly being cleaned by the cold rain.
I kept pushing through the wind that pushed back, gasping at each sharp drop of rain. In front of me was the ocean,whipped into a frenzy by the storm, its waves smashing against the cliff base fifty feet below. Only the squat marble railing running the length of the terrace separated me from the dark chasm of the sea.
When I reached the railing, I made a crazed, strange, strangled sound. Half laugh, half sob.
The life I’d had mere hours ago was now gone forever.
As were my parents.
Yet at that moment, leaning against the terrace railing with the knife in my hand, the rough wind on my face, and the frigid rain pummeling my blood-soaked body, I only felt relief. I knew I would soon be free of everything.
I turned back toward the mansion. Every window in every room was lit. As ablaze as the candles that had graced my tiered birthday cake eight months earlier. It looked pretty lit up like that. Elegant. All that money glistening behind immaculate panes of glass.
But I knew that looks could be deceiving.
And that even prisons could appear lovely if lit the right way.
Inside, my sister screamed. Horrified cries that rose and fell like a siren. The kind of screams you hear when something absolutely terrible has happened.