Page 36 of Flashback

“Oh, really? What horrible thing have you done?”

SEVEN

Allie was still fixedon Dakota’s story as they walked along the river. Her heart broke for the little boy trying so hard to win the approval of his father only to be beaten. He might not have said it in so many words, but something told her he was still trying to protect her, not wanting to burden her too much with the darkness of his past.

Little did he know she had her own darkness. And unlike his childhood, she’d completely deserved it. But maybe he wouldn’t feel so alone if he knew some of her own secrets.

“My family doesn’t know this—I haven’t even told my best friend Belle—but for a while, I moved in with my college boyfriend.”

He stared at her, eyebrows lifted. “You?”

“Yeah. Me, the pastor’s kid.”

“You never told them?”

“How could I? It was the ultimate sin in my family. I was raised to know better. Do better.” She looked out across the water at the foothills. “But I was convinced we were in love and that any day, he’d ask me to marry him. And the secrecy of it, it made me feel…special, like we had this tiny world all toourselves. For a while it was good, because I was stupid enough to believe him when he said all we needed was each other, that he’d do anything for me.”

“And here I thought with your big Christian family you were indestructible when it came to temptation.” He said it with a wink, trying to lighten her load as always. There was no chastisement or condemnation. And in the quiet place between them, the past was clawing its way out, begging for release.

“Kota, you don’t know the worst part.” Her whispered voice cracked.

He took her hands and held them, gently rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. “You don’t have to tell me anything, Allie. I’m no saint myself.”

It was sweet of him, really. And she’d never be able to get the words out to tell him all of it, but maybe she could help him understand why she did the work she did. How desperately she needed to find her dog.

“Eventually the fantasy came crashing down on me, and it almost destroyed me.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Let’s just say my dog Dixie was the only good thing to come out of it.”

“Dixie?”

“I adopted Dixie right before the breakup. After Christian left, I could hardly function. I’d made him, our relationship, everything. Without him, I didn’t want to get up in the morning, but she gave me a reason. And when I didn’t want to eat, I would do it because I didn’t want anything to happen to her. When I didn’t want to leave the apartment, I would because I knew she needed exercise.”

“Sounds like you took good care of her.”

“I owe her my life. She gave me purpose again. And she was so smart. We were at a park where they were doing some SARtraining. She jumped right in and passed their agility course on the first try. Watching them, I knew. That was what I was meant to do. I quit nursing school and started training with Dixie. She caught on so easily. And slowly, I began to build a new life.”

“She’s your hero.”

Allie nodded.

“I’m so sorry you lost her,” Dakota said.

“Me too. But hopefully, if I find Scout, we can finish our training and get back to work. He’s a good dog too, but I didn’t let myself get close to him. I didn’t want to depend on him like I did Dixie. But I’m going to do better. I just need to find him.”

“I promise, as soon as we can let you back there, we’ll go and look for him. I truly believe he’s still alive. But since we can’t do anything today, what do you say we go find some more answers about this body Houston and Sophie found.”

“How will we do that?”

“I want to talk to the medical examiner. My gut says something is going on here. And I wonder if Ethan and Nolan might be in the middle of it. If they really saw someone shot and killed, they could be in danger. If the ME has an ID, then we can see if Ethan recognizes the guy.”

“What if that traumatizes him even more? Shouldn’t the cops do that?”

“It would be a lot less invasive if you and I can talk to him first, confirm that it’s true, and not send the sheriff on a wild-goose chase. I don’t know how much he’ll listen to us without proof.”

It made sense. And since she couldn’t do much more to look for Scout, at least they could be doing something to help the boys.

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