Page 56 of Sharpen Your Claws

William didn’t argue, but he glared and Nicholas swore he heard every argument William could ever give. He didn’t want to be carried out of the forest. He worried Nicholas would grow tired. He never wanted to be a burden, but Nicholas didn’t see him as one. He deserved protection and care, which Nicholas could give and wanted to.

William’s chest fell against Nicholas’ back, his warmth foreign and familiar. Nicholas wanted nothing more than to bask in the sensation of William being so close, feeling William’s breath on his nape and his thighs caught beneath Nicholas’ fingers. It was wondrous, like a dream that he played over a thousand times since their separation.

He bit the inside of his cheek and kept moving, searching this way and that. The trees spanned for an eternity, perfectly situated in diagonal lines, and yet led nowhere. At least nothing had been led to them. There were no birds upon the branches, rabbits in the bushes, or insects crawling through the rotting leaves. They were entirely alone.

As he walked, William’s breathing grew heavier. His grip tightened, then twitched. Nicholas cast a worried glance. William peered into the forest, between the trees, recognizing something Nicholas did not see.

“William,” he whispered, but his voice did nothing to steady William’s frantic breaths. They became erratic, his sweat so heavy that his hair turned dark. He pressed a hand against Nicholas’ back and squirmed. Something was very wrong, and it affected William rather than him.

“William, take a breath.” He kept a firm hold on the man, but William kept squirming, then kicking, and finally slipped free.

Nicholas caught his silver hand and knew William was too lost to realize where they were because he didn’t so much as flinch. The medic swayed like he was drunk, pointing, then shaking, then stepping away.

“You’re dead. You’re all dead.” William’s eyes swerved from left to right, as if they were surrounded.

“You’re hallucinating,” he said.

The forest’s magic toyed with William far more than him. An aroma sweeter than honey filled his nostrils, and he imagined it rattled William’s head.

“You deserved it. You were monsters! I’m not the monster! I’m not… I can’t be…” William’s voice echoed through the trees, unbelievably loud in the forest’s reticence. He tore free from Nicholas to run his fingers through his hair, then tear at it. “No, no, not me. Not me. I was scared. It was wrong. I know. I’m sorry!”

He caught William by the elbow, wanting to relax him, but did the opposite. William caught sight of him, of his eyes, and a fear like no other overtook him. Expression blanched, William shoved him off and ran into the forest.

“Wait, fuck, William!” He lurched after William, the poor man losing himself completely to the forest.

William’s panted breath sounded like the trees themselves grasping out for them. His figure grew smaller and smaller, making Nicholas feel like he stood still. The Lost Woods wanted to steal William, to keep him forever. He wouldn’t let that happen.

He fell to his knees, fingers shoved in the dirt. Roots breached the soil. They fought against his demands, too stubborn to bend to another. The power within surged, scratching through his center. He forced his will into the earth itself until it melded to his desires. A dozen roots wrapped around William’s ankles. He dropped, then was dragged, as much as Nicholas hated to do so. William slid to a stop, his nails clawing helplessly at the soil.

“Get away. You’re dead. You’re dead!” William broke out in a cold sweat when Nicholas laid a hand on his arm. William didn’t see him. He saw Fearworn, clawing at him fruitlessly, trying to protect his arm. “It’s mine. You can’t have it.”

“I’m not trying to take anything. It’s me, my wicked,” Nicholas said, unsure of what to do. He caught William by the waist to bring them into a sitting position. He buried his face in the crook of William’s neck, hiding his damned eyes.

“You can’t take my other arm,” William wheezed, clutching the arm already taken.

“I won’t,” he whispered. “I’m not here to take anything.”

William struggled a moment more, his breathing so labored Nicholas feared his heart would give out. He didn’t know what to do when William broke into a sweat. He shook so horribly that his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Nicholas had witnessed nothing like it, fearful that he’d lose William to his own mind.

“Look at me,” he said desperately, reminded of that day on the field where William bled out. “Look at me. What do I do?”

He didn’t answer. He couldn’t, trembling in Nicholas’ desperate hold, breathing so labored his lips nearly went blue. Then he sank against Nicholas, where his heart rate slowly steadied. William laid his cheek against Nicholas’ and leaned into him entirely.

“We need to get out of here. There has to be a way out. We have to escape.” William gnawed at his bloody lip.

“First, you must calm down,” he warned.

“There is no calming down. Everything is a mess.” William bellowed, speaking as if possessed, “I survived, but I don’t feel like I did. Some days, I wish I didn’t, and then I see those who died, people I killed, people I lost, like Hugh, who would have lived far happier than me and I wish we exchanged places.”

His hold on William tightened, wishing he had never heard his wicked say such things.

“Shadowed disciples have my patients. Fearworn is involved. That rat bastard must ruin us even now. My patients are likely being used, tortured, or already dead and nobody fucking cares. Then there’s you.” William sat up taller, retreating from Nicholas enough to gaze down at him. He hesitated to meet William’s eyes, such a fierce sorrow he tasted the pain like decay.

“You show up and you’re different and it’s my fault. You make me question everything. For two years, I was hurt and felt more alone than ever. I never wanted to see you again, then I would have given anything to see you again. I wanted to scream at you, then I wanted to hold you. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what to do. I hate that I cannot help you, that I’m the cause of…” William’s eyes flooded with tears he refused to shed.

“This has always been my fate, with or without you,” he said with a gentle caress against William’s cheek. “I am relieved my fate is tied to you. At least I will always have this part of my life, the love for you I had before and now.”

“Before? Nicholas, you’re…”

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