Page 98 of Lights Out

He huffed out a breath. “I know. A douche, but a good friend.”

“I understand why you do it,” I said.

“Do what?”

“Wear a mask. Cover yourself in fake blood.”

His brows rose. “Really? Because I’d love an explanation.”

I took one of his hands and led him toward the kitchen. He looked just as tired as I was, and I thought he could use a cup of coffee, so I had him sit on my vacated barstool as I poured him one.

“You’re doing the same thing I am,” I said. “Trying to rewrite history.”

“How so?”

“I try to save every patient as if it might somehow make up for not saving my mom.” I turned and handed him his coffee. “And you dress up like a scary serial killer but do the opposite of what your dad did.”

He blinked.

“Think about it,” I said, scooping my mug from the island. “You broke into my house and stalked me, just like your father did his victims, but you never meant to hurt me, only bring me pleasure. You do the same thing for millions of people on the internet three times a week. You distract them from this shitshow of a world and make them feel good instead of bad.”

He leaned back, looking contemplative. “I never thought of it that way.”

“You’re the opposite of him, Josh,” I said.

He shook his head, eyes sad as they met mine. “I like fear like he did.”

My heart stuttered for a second. “My reaction to Brad breaking in turned you on?” Oh, god. I didn’t know how I would handle that if it were true.

“Christ, no,” he said. “Not that kind of fear.”

“What, specifically then?” I asked.

He broke our gaze, staring past me as if searching for the right words. “It’s hard to explain, but those moments when I catch you off guard and watch your eyes flash wide with fear before bleeding into desire is what turns me on.”

I grinned. “Play back what you just said because it sounds to me like you don’t like fear so much as you like it when I stop being afraid and start being horny.”

His eyes returned to mine, and I could see the wheels turning in his head. “I don’t care about other people besides those in my inner circle.”

I shrugged. “So? Most of them are garbage anyway.”

“I have no regrets about stalking you.”

“Me neither. You might have noticed that I never asked you to stop. No safe words, remember?”

He nodded, eyeing me. “I remember, baby.”

I shivered. Why did that pet name turn me on so much? Or was it more about the ownership he sunk into the word every time he used it?

“Now,” I said. “If you’re done trying to scare me off, I’d like to know why you stopped texting me two hours ago.”

The heat cleared from his eyes. “We didn’t get into Brad’s house. The cops were already there when we arrived.”

I swore and nearly dropped my coffee. “What? How?”

“It wasn’t anything you and I did,” he said. “They were there to serve an arrest warrant related to Macy’s assault.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “That’s some godawful timing.”