Page 9 of What did you do?

“What are you doing?” Eli shouted.

“What does it matter? None of this isreallyme, is it?”

My hands landed on my prized microscope. The most expensive thing I had ever owned. The one possession that had felt like a piece of hope. Something that had let me escape myself and all my obligations for a little while.

But it wasn’t ever me, was it? What good would human science be in the fae realm? Science had been the only escape my mind had, but I needed to adapt. There were new things in Seelie I needed to learn. More important things. Science was a tool I had used.

A warm tear ran down my cheek as I opened the case. The snap popped with a solemn sound. Nineteen years. Nineteen fucking years, this had been the plan.

The darkness that fought to consume me was getting harder to tame. Weighty, lurking thoughts that would only settle for one thing.

It was a part of me that Elicould not see.

Something touched the top of my bare foot and caused me to jump back with a kick, sending whatever it was at least a foot away.

“What the—” I said, grabbing Eli’s arm.

As tiny as a daisy, the little field mouse looked up at me with glistening black eyes.

“Oh my gosh!” I cried out, hurrying to the ground to scoop the little mouse up.

I may hate most people, but I had a soft spot for animals. They always reminded me of my little sister, Adrianna. I could never hurt an animal because of her.

Just people.

Without hesitation, the tiny mouse nuzzled against my hand, rubbing its white belly to my skin as she pressed a large, rounded ear to my palm.

Instantly I felt better. The anger ebbed from me, replaced with comfort. It made me feel close to my family.

“She’s so sweet. It’s like she knew I was upset,” I mumbled as I continued petting her.

Silence caused me to glance up and catch Eli watching me, an odd expression cloaking his features.

Agh. Could he know?

My sandwich from lunch turned in my stomach. Well, this was all going to happen eventually. This was the plan.

He snapped out of it and smiled. “How do you know it’s a she?” he said.

“I don’t know,” I said with a laugh.

I gently rubbed the tiny mouse against my cheek as all my worries seemed to get further and further away. Just for a moment.

“I just feel like I can tell. I guess that’s weird, but…” Once again, I trailed off, noting the way he was watching me. I refocused on the sweet animal in my hand as I moved to open the front door.

“Caly, where are you?—”

The warm, humid air hit my face. I inhaled, closing my eyes. The night air smelled like summer—fresh-cut grass and nearby bonfires.

I moved to the side of my house, where I kept the buckets of bird feed. The mouse began to skitter about nervously on my hand.

“Ssshhh, it’s okay,” I whispered softly.

The smell of smoke was stronger on this side of the house. Woody and smooth like burning cedar or juniper.

She must not like the campfires. I scanned my mind, trying to think of who could be burning so close. There was a campground a ways off. I opened the metal trash can a small crack and set the creature on top of the bird seed that filled the inside.

“Thank you. Stay under the lid until morning and eat as much as you would like,” I said, giving her one last pet.

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