Page 82 of Never Been Shipped

That was it—no further explanation or message. But he knew what it was before he heard the first notes of the first song,which had him holding his breath. Even before her vocals came in, he recognized the tone of his guitar—herguitar. The melody was simple but catchy, with a breathless chorus that ended with her laughing a little bit, clearly a mistake that he was glad she’d kept.

The second song was about the cruise, somehow managing to capture the vibe of a situation where anything could happen, from a spilled drink to a right hook. She’d even added electronic drums, which impressed him. There’d been a lot of work in crafting these songs, writing them and recording all the parts, either dusting off old equipment she had or sourcing new stuff.

But it was the third track that really put John’s heart in his throat. It was the most stripped-down of all of them, just piano and her voice. He only got a couple of lines in before he had to pause, take a couple deep breaths, and then start the song over again. Her vocals were low, a little dreamy around the edges, but once again he was struck by just how much likeherselfshe sounded when she sang. That might seem like an obvious thing to say, but it was something in her voice he’d always admired—the fact that the Micah you got on the phone and the Micah you got on a record felt like the same person. He’d never felt any distance from her when she sang, and now it felt like she could be sitting on his bed, performing this right in front of him.

I’ve been trying, trying to tell you

Just not in so many words

If only I

Could close my eyes

And show you everywhere it hurts

This ache in my bones feels like touching you

This heartbeat in my chest will let me try for you

I’ll try for you

I’ll try for you

I’ll try for you

When all I wanted was a dream

Only if they made it true

It was a lie

It’s fucking mine

And you gave it to me new

You know you’ve always been my best and oldest friend

So please say that we can, let us start again

I’ll start again

I’ll start again

I’ll start again

It was unusual for Micah’s lyrics to be this direct, for you to even fully know who or what she was singing about. There had always been lines, here and there, that had snagged at him, like a jagged nail sticking out of a doorframe.Are you gonna come over?That was what she’d asked him almost every day, had made him wonder if there weren’t parts of “If Only” that were abouthim. But then there would be other parts that felt like maybe she wasn’t talking about a person at all, but the feeling of being on that back porch, writing a song for an album that could change their lives in ways they didn’t even know yet. Then she’d bring the lyrics back around again with a bridgethat was big and romantic, that filled your chest with air and then took it all away, and he’d be left wondering again,Who is this song about?

The bridge for this one sounded like it had been recorded as a voice note on her phone, the vocals mixed a little lower so he had to press his headphones to his ears to make sure he was catching every word before she came back in at full volume for the last chorus.

Well, maybe you still can’t hear me

Maybe I’m talking in code

Maybe I’m letting some notes drop

Under the noise on the phone

Maybe I know that my signals

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