Page 63 of Continuum

As we lay in bed, my head on his chest and his arms around me, my brain was in a complete fog. My body was completely satisfied. My soul felt peace. But my heart hurt, anticipating the goodbye.

“Aisha, baby…” Kwame whispered against my hair.

“Hm?” I murmured, even though I knew what he was going to say. I felt it.

“I don’t want to go, but…”

“I know. I don’t want you to go either.” I inhaled shakily. “I wish you lived here so we could see what this could be. This feels good to me. You feel good to me.”

He lifted my chin so that he could see my face. “You feel good to me, too. You are special, baby. If I lived here, you wouldn’t be able to get rid of me.”

My eyes started to sting as they started welling with tears. I tried to blink them away, but I wasn’t quick enough. One hot, fat tear fell from my lashes.

“Please don’t cry, Aisha.” He shifted and rolled me over so that I was on my back and he was on top of me. Wiping the tear away, he stared at me. “The last thing I ever wanted to do was make you cry.”

“You didn’t do anything,” I explained, choking back a sob that threatened to erupt. “It’s me. It’s this situation.”

It’s the fact that I think I love you. And I’m losing you all over again.

He dropped kisses all over my face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he whispered over and over again. “This isn’t how I wanted to say goodbye.”

Just hearing him say goodbye cracked something in my chest.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” I reached up and pulled his face to mine. “It was a one-weekend stand. I knew you were only here for the weekend. I knew what I was getting myself into. I just didn’t expect to feel so connected to you. I didn’t expect to…”

I kissed him and allowed my mouth to say words I couldn’t.

His lips responded with words I longed to hear.

When he pulled out of the kiss, his face hovered over mine and his eyes pleaded with me. “You didn’t expect to what, Aisha?”

My heart felt heavy and the longer he held my gaze, the less likely I was going to be able to hold everything in.

“I didn’t expect it to be this hard to say goodbye,” I breathed.

My words were so soft that I didn’t think he heard me. But I saw the sadness in his eyes before he pulled me into a hug and held me close.

“I never want to make anything hard for you,” he uttered, his voice strained.

For a long time, we remained in a tight embrace comforting each other because we knew that the moment we let go, we were never going to see each other again.

His arms were warm.

And safe.

And comfortable.

And I fell asleep.

So I wasn’t sure if he tried to wake me up or not. But due to the way my heart shattered when I realized he was gone, I wasn’t sure if it would’ve been easier for me to watch him go or not.

I rechecked my alarm to make sure it was set for my meeting and then all the tears I was holding in earlier came rushing out and I cried myself to sleep.

“Angel?” I cried out as I woke up with a start.

I felt a little discombobulated and I was struggling to remember the dream that had just awakened me. Grabbing my phone, I noticed that it was three minutes before my alarm was set to go off. I also saw a text message from Kwame.

Kwame Mitchell:I didn’t want to wake you. I didn’t want to leave you. I didn’t know how to say goodbye.

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