Page 110 of Business Casual

Chapter 18

My heart was heavy.

It was the hardest I ever cried over a man. For the rest of the afternoon, I lulled between sobbing and forlorn reflection. It hurt to think that it was over between us. I couldn’t even bring myself to open the folder to sign it. The sadness was unrelenting and followed me throughout the entirety of the night.

I woke up with bloodshot eyes, a dry mouth, and the worst headache. A long hot shower helped, but it didn’t take the pain away. But I knew I had to get my shit together. I was a professional and I had a job to do.

Hoping to slip in unnoticed, I decided to go into the office around lunchtime. Wearing my form-fitting black dress with the asymmetrical neckline, black stiletto pumps, and oversized black shades, I looked like I was in mourning. But it felt appropriate for the day.

I wouldn’t just miss the sex. I was going to miss the intimacy of our conversations. I was going to miss the playfulness of our banter. I was going to miss the way he lit me up. And losing all that kind of felt like a death.

“Why are you dressed for a funeral?” Keisha asked after checking her text messages for the picture I’d sent her.

“Because I’m in mourning,” I wailed dramatically, only partially kidding.

“Stop,” she giggled before sighing. “Seriously, are you okay? You sound better.”

“I’m okay,” I lied. “I had a casual hookup that went beyond the scope of what it was supposed to be. But I’m a professional and everything is okay.”

“Come on, Imani… You’re lying.”

“Well, I’m not great. But I’m not going to break down and cry again. I’m all cried out.”

“I think you should talk to Tre when you get to work. Try to work things out.”

My heart felt heavier. “It’s not going to change anything. There’s nothing to work out. We broke the rules. We got caught. He said me signing the documents was the best chance for him to not be fired. So that’s what I’ll do. Even if that means we’re over.” My throat tightened.

“You two could reconnect once the contract is over, right? It’s just four more months.”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

“Do you want to be with him?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want. Being with him would mean he would lose his job and with it, his life’s purpose. He’s working on something great here and I can’t be the reason he loses all of that. He would end up resenting me.”

“I hear you.” She was quiet for a moment. “But you didn’t answer the question.”

Rolling my glassy eyes, I replied, “Yes, I want to be with him.”

“Well, then go and tell him that. Do what you have to do now and plan to reconnect in October. Spend the rest of the summer focused on your stuff and then when you are done with the contract, be with him. Have you signed the document yet?”

“No. I’ll do it when I get to my office. Every time I tried to do it this morning, I got in my feelings,” I admitted.

“So, you think doing it at work will make that better?” Keisha made her skepticism apparent. “Because um, the way you were crying yesterday…”

“I don’t cry on the clock.” Even though I was parked, I gripped my steering wheel tighter. “And after a few hours of sleep and taking the morning off, I know I’m doing the right thing. So, I’m going to be fine. I’m going to be fine.”

“Just… think about talking to him when you give him the paperwork. I have to go. My free period is about to be over. But call me tonight and let me know what happens.”

“I will. Thank you,” I said, staring at the person walking across the parking lot.

We got off the phone and I took a deep breath. I grabbed my bag, squared my shoulders, and marched toward the building with my head held high. I didn’t get nervous until the elevator doors started to open on the Franklin Financial executive floor.

Fortunately, Josephine wasn’t at her desk.

I damn near ran to my office and shut the door. I knew Tre was likely around there somewhere. His meeting with his father was in ninety minutes and I wanted to give him peace of mind. I checked my phone as soon as I sat down, but I hadn’t heard from him since I left his home. So, with shaky hands, I took off my sunglasses and pulled out the folder.

I read each line carefully. And just as he said, it completely protected me and my contract. It explicitly stated that I entered and exited the relationship on my own volition, and it never impacted my work. For those reasons, I couldn’t sue for sexual harassment or inappropriate conduct because neither would be true. The legalese was straight forward, and I felt comfortable signing it.

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