Page 130 of Curvy Girl Summer

He’d gotten in my head about how talkative Lennox was, and now it was all I noticed.

Lennox was handsome, funny, smart, and really charismatic—but he didn’t ask many questions about me. I didn’t realize that he didn’t ask me much of anything, because we’d spent days exchanging stories. I was so caught up in our similarities and how charming he was, I didn’t realize that the information that he knew about me was because I offered it up.

It wasn’t because he asked.

“—and then I met the chef over at Cloverleaf…” He continued to talk without my input.

I knew he’d amuse himself, so I didn’t feel too bad that my mind kept drifting. I found myself thinking about my dating journey and what I wanted in a man. I listed all of Lennox’s amazing qualities and the things I enjoyed about him; but I couldn’t stop hearing Ahmad’s critique of him.

Ahmad.

And just like that, the pit in my stomach returned with a vengeance.

I’d spent the last few days in an emotional upheaval. Even though I was still reeling from Ahmad being in the hospital, I had a long conversation with Lennox when I got home. I felt good about it because it was a nice distraction from what had just happened. Once we got off the phone, I realized I still had Ahmad’s jacket on, and the feeling returned. I wanted and planned to give him his jacket back; I just needed to do it while there were other people around.

I cannot be alone with that man.

A mixture of longing and confusion sat in the pit of my stomach. I’d hoped it would be gone by the morning.

It wasn’t.

And until I had a handle on what I was feeling, I didn’t want to see Ahmad or be around him. The energy between us was too powerful. He had me emotionally wide open, telling him things I hadn’t verbalized to anyone else. He had me physically wide open, making myself available to him, showing up for him. And if I’m honest, he had me sexually wide open because I was ready and willing. And as much as our energy seemed to be mutual, what I was seeking and what he was seeking were on two vastly different planes.

So instead of pining, I overbooked my schedule and stayed busy. But for whatever reason, the knot in my belly whenever I thought of Ahmad just continued to grow. It remained through my solo brunch on Sunday, through my Monday-morning meeting at work, and even still when I met up with Nina for a Taco Tuesdaymeetup. I couldn’t find the words to define my feelings, but it made me ready to distract myself with the company of a fine man like Lennox. So, when he asked me out for Wednesday night, I quickly agreed.

“You don’t like the bruschetta?” Lennox asked, dragging me from my thoughts and back to the present.

“Oh, I haven’t tried it yet. But it looks good.” I picked up the appetizer and took a bite. I nodded as I chewed. “Mmm.”

“Yeah, the first time I had bruschetta was actually on a work trip. Did I tell you about the time I went to…”

Two hours later, I was being driven home. The moon shined bright in the sky, the air-conditioning blew cold air in my face, and Lennox’s incessant talking was grating on my nerves. I told myself I just needed a little break. I convinced myself that I just needed to get home and recenter myself, and then I could look at the situation with Lennox with a clear head. But as he drove me home, I couldn’t help but feel like it was the last time I was going to see Lennox.

My birthday is in three days. Is this who I want to spend it with? This man would probably make the day about him.I closed my eyes momentarily.He’s very sexy, though.

“—and that’s why I think having a pet with someone you’re not married to is risky. You know what I’m saying?”

I had no clue what the fuck he was saying.

Shifting my sights from the downtown traffic to the man next to me, I forced a smile. It didn’t matter what I said, he’d continue with the conversation on his own.

“I have an early morning tomorrow,” I told him as I directed him to stop in front of my building. It was just after ten o’clock, so it wasn’t late. But I was ready to be by myself. I needed to decompress.

“I should at least walk you to your door,” Lennox pointed out. “I want to make sure you get in safely.”

I waved my hand nonchalantly as he turned on the emergency blinkers. “It’s a hassle to park. It’s fine. I’ll be safe, and I’ll text you when I make it inside.”

“Okay,” he relented. “But make sure you let me know as soon as you get in there. I want to make sure you’re good.”

“I will.”

“I had a really nice time with you, Aaliyah. I leave tomorrow, but I should be back on Saturday night. I’d love to take you out for a late dinner when I’m back. There’s this new lounge I found, and I’d love to take you for our third date. I want to show you a good time.”

He doesn’t even remember I told him about my birthday.

It didn’t matter that he was good-looking and an engaging storyteller. Forgetting my birthday killed it for me.

“I have plans on Saturday,” I told him. “You just enjoy your trip, and we’ll have a conversation when you’re back.”

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