Page 17 of Curvy Girl Summer

I knew I wanted a husband, so I needed to find a boyfriend. I knew in order to find a boyfriend, I needed to date. And in order to find a date, I needed to engage with men in a more intentional way. But I wasn’t really interested in trying anything new. So, to have my mom randomly throw the same sentiments to me that I’d been wrestling with was jarring, to say the least.

“Out of nowhere, my mom said if I wanted the husband and the kids, I may need to look outside of my comfort zone. And then she proceeded to tell me she invited a strange man to my birthday party,” I told my best friends Monday morning as I drove to work.

Jazmyn Payne had called to ask about Aniyah’s celebration, and I’d conferenced in Nina Ford so I could tell them both what happened. They were expecting a sentimental recap and ended up getting an earful about my family’s assessment of my love life.

“Oh, wow!” Jazz reacted. “Your uncle was dead wrong. And your mom… called you out!” She paused. “I mean, she was wrong, but in reference to you getting out there again, wasn’t she basically saying the same thing you were saying the other day?”

“Yeah,” I replied, slapping the steering wheel while I sat at the red light. “And that’s one of the reasons it got under my skin.”

“The other reason is because she’s kinda right, huh?” Nina suggested. The loud music from the gym speakers pulsated behind her question.

“Yeah,” I admitted through gritted teeth. “She was wrong in her delivery, approach, and reasoning, but yeah.”

She laughed. “So, if me and your mom said you need to get out of your comfort zone, maybe you should try… I don’t know… getting out of your comfort zone!”

“I know I told you two that I wanted to find something real by my birthday, and I know getting out of my comfort zone is my best bet, but…” My voice trailed off as I flashed back to my exchange with my family. “The way my family made me feel like a failurebecause I’m not where Aniyah was in life by this age made me so mad.”

“I know how family can be,” Jazz offered sympathetically. “But you know you’re not a failure.”

“Not at all,” Nina chimed in. “And while they were dead wrong for that and your uncle was on some bullshit, your mom wasn’t wrong about you needing to get out more.”

I took a left turn and frowned. “I know Ineedto do something different. But the issue is that I don’twantto do anything different. I have eight weeks before my birthday, and I realized that I hate dating. I’m just ready to skip to the relationship part of it.”

“If you hate dating, you’re not doing it right,” Nina commented.

“No, Aaliyah’s right,” Jazmyn agreed. “Dating sucks.”

“Dating doesn’t suck,” she assured us both. “Aaliyah, you need to do something new, and, Jazz, you need to get back out there. Both of you took yourselves out the game and for what?”

“I got divorced,” Jazz answered incredulously.

“You got divorced almost two years ago,” Nina argued. “It’s time to move on.”

“Nina!” I gasped.

I mean, I agreed with the sentiment, but it could’ve been delivered more tactfully.

“What?” she wailed. “You know I’m right.”

“Yes, but have some couth,” I joked as I pulled into the parking structure connected to my office building.

They both laughed.

“What’s funny is that my aunt said something like that to me yesterday.” Jazmyn’s voice had been sounding dejected lately. Even when she was amused, there was still a hint of sadness that remained. “She was in and out of sleep, and that was the last thing she said to me. It was time to move on.”

Jazmyn’s favorite aunt had been sick for the better part of two years. She’d been on hospice three times, and each time, she made a miraculous recovery. Jazz always spent a week of her summer vacation in her hometown. Up until her aunt got sick, she loved being there. Since then, whenever she’d call, she was just lookingfor a distraction and she would avoid talking about her aunt. So, the fact that she mentioned her was promising.

“How’s your aunt doing?” I wondered as I pulled into a parking spot.

“She’s the same,” she answered.

“I’m glad she isn’t getting worse. That’s a blessing,” Nina pointed out.

I nodded even though they couldn’t see me. “Yeah, that is a blessing.”

“It is. I don’t know what I’m going to do when she goes. She’s looking good, though, so hopefully I’ll have her for a while longer.”

“The time you’re there with her will be good for the both of you. Time heals,” I replied.

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