Page 5 of Plus Size Player

“Because I’m having fun,” I answered with a laugh. “And when I’m not having fun or when I’m ready to end the situation, I end it. It’s really that simple.”

“Each time one of these dates doesn’t work out, I’m ready to stop trying altogether.”

“Do not let someone else’s bullshit stand in the way of what you want.”

“You’re right. I’m just… frustrated.” She sighed. “Enough about me. When is your date?”

“I’m on my way to meet him now,” I told her.

“And which one is this? The one you like?”

“Who?”

“The Fun One.”

My lip quirked up. Pushing down the feeling the thought of him stirred inside me, I replied, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You know exactly what I mean.” She sighed dramatically. “That’s the one you get excited about. That’s how I know you like him.”

“I like them all,” I corrected her.

She giggled. “Something is wrong with you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” I told her. “I’m doing dating right.”

My dating roster consisted of four primary men. Russ was The Fun One and as his nickname indicated, we had fun and did exciting things together. James, The Funny One, made me laugh so hard the entire time we were together. Dru was probably the sweetest and most romantic man I’d ever met. And Tyrell, The Smart One, was so informed and knowledgeable.

The four of them made the perfect man, so I didn’t have to worry about not getting what I wanted out of the situation. I had all the bases covered. They each had their own lane. They didn’t have to be anything other than what they naturally were. They didn’t feel any pressure; I didn’t feel any pressure. We played our parts and enjoyed our roles. There was a lot of freedom in not having expectations.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I mean, you’re clearly doing it better than me. I can’t find one I like, and you like them all.”

“Scouting takes time.”

“I’m running out of time.”

“You’re being dramatic. But seriously, it took time and effort to build a solid roster.”

“So, since you have… let me think, Dru, Tyrell, James, and Russ, why are you still on the dating app?”

“Because scouting has to take place year-round. I’m still open to adding to the team. Anyone can get cut at any time, and I have to be on the waiver wire to pick up new talent. It’s always draft season, boo!”

Light laughter rang from her end of the line. “You know you almost lost me with the sports metaphor, but I get your point.”

“Well, then, get back out there and stop letting one bad date—”

“It’s been more than one,” she interjected.

“Don’t let a series of bad dates keep you from doing what you want to do. If I’d let a bad date keep me down, I wouldn’t have the elite starting four that I have now.”

“How do you have the time and energy?”

“I only spend time with people I enjoy. I only do things I want to do. I only have sex with people who get me off. So, my time is never wasted, and my energy stays high.”

“If I don’t have a man by my thirtieth birthday, I’m going to start living my life like you.”

“You’d be a lot less stressed if you did,” I confirmed. “And you would actually enjoy dating. You’re so focused on finding a man. You’re not enjoying the men.”

She laughed. “You’re right. You’re right. You found four good ones—”

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