Page 19 of You & I, Rewritten

“Hi, Will.” Graham’s voice is much kinder than it had been earlier, but my nerves are instantly shot seeing him here in our apartment. “Do you have a second?” He’s soaking wet and completely disheveled, a look I’ve never seen on him before, but he’s as beautiful as ever.

Klair stares down Graham, glances at me, and then back to our dripping visitor, her knowing eyes narrowing. “Well…Dean and I are going to grab a bite to eat so you guys take all the time you need.” Turning to me, she says, “But if you need anything, my handsome bestie…give me a call and I will come back immediately to deal with this one. Even if his name’s on the building, I’ll still kick his ass.”

Graham clears his throat. “I heard that,” he says with a smirk.

“Good, you were meant to.” Klair sticks her tongue out at him and throws a towel in his direction, grabs her jacket and purse, and heads out the door, leaving the two of us alone.

It’s like he just stepped out of that shower with me…I blush and pray he doesn’t notice.

He laughs, looking out after her as he runs his hand through his hair. I’m learning now that this may be a nervous tick, a sign that he’s slightly out of his element. I watch as he attempts to towel dry himself off. Turning his attention back to me, his eyes appear tired and red.Has he been crying?

“Will, I’m sorry for just showing up like this.” He sounds unsure, which is so unlike the Graham I know during business hours. “But I just had to see you…to make sure that you were okay.” Before even giving me a chance to respond, he’s directly in front of me with his hands on my arms, searching my face for any indication of how I’m feeling. “Are you okay?”

I shrug, which he interprets as my body telling him to not touch me, so I grab his hand and pull him toward the couch. “Sit with me for a second?”I have no idea what to say to him. Hell, I don’t even know what to say to myself!Sitting there next to Graham, who clearly has been worried about me, I find myself relaxing for the first time since the entire ordeal earlier today. I reach over and squeeze his hand, a gesture that feels slightly too intimate for this moment but he doesn’t seem to mind. I run my thumb over the prominent veins on the top of his hand, memorizing each and every line and the way it feels in mine.

Lifting my gaze to his, I stare into those beautiful eyes, scared to open up to the man who makes me feel this deeply already but knowing I’m only going to be met with compassion and understanding. “Graham, I owe you the biggest apology. I was beyond out of line and for that, I’m truly, truly sorry.” I’ve never been one to shy away from apologizing. It’s something I feel is so important in every relationship, regardless of the nature, but owning up to Graham, showing him that I know I messed up…I just pray he knows it’s genuine.He has to.

“I don’t even care about that, Will. All I care about is that you’re okay.” His confession makes my heart contract.He cares about me?“I’d like to think that I’ve gotten to know you over these last few weeks and it was clear to me something was off.” He squeezes my hand, smiling at me in the most reassuring way imaginable and I can’t fight the feeling any longer…I am beyond crazy about this man.Fuck.

“No, you’re right.” Vulnerability is not my strength. I know this and for the last ten, fifteen-ish years, I’ve gotten by just fine pretending that everything in my life is perfect. Sure, I can open up to Klair, but that’s only because she’s been in my life longer than anyone else.And because she’s been there through it all.

But Graham deserves more from me. As a teammate and as…whatever else he is.

“I was trying to explain this to Klair earlier, but there are these times in my life when it’s incredibly difficult for me to separate logic from emotion. My brain and my heart battle each other sometimes. As much as I hate that it happens, my emotions overpower any sort of logic in those moments. And well…you were on the receiving end of what that looks like. My insecurities skyrocket, my self-doubt explodes, and I’m left questioning anything and everything.”

The way Graham looks at me on most occasions makes me feel like the most important man in the world, but right now, there’s something so new and raw in his expression, as if he’s been trying to figure me out all this time and the final piece just clicked into place. It’s disarming and honest and overwhelming, but I never want him to stop looking at me like this. He reaches over, ever so slowly, and puts a warm hand on the side of my face.

“Please tell me you know that there’s nothing wrong with that?” he all but whispers. I lean into the warmth of his hand and close my eyes, afraid if I keep gazing into the intensity of his stare, I’ll break apart again. “I’ve always believed our emotions and our passion are a sign of strength. If we’re sharing our truths right now…It’s no surprise that I may come across as detached or emotionless. In the office, I know I’m blunt and direct…but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’twantto connect more socially with everyone.” He looks down, dropping his hand from my face.No, please put it back.“But you, you so clearly aren’t afraid to show the world around you your warmth and that you have this big, kind heart. Never apologize for that.”

Hearing Graham open up about his own struggles with emotional connection makes me want him even more.Is that even possible at this point?It takes every ounce of self-restraint to not lunge at this man.

He looks back up at me, his eyes filled with all the compassion and warmth in the world and says, “While I was only trying to do my job, I hope you know that it was never my intention to hurt you, Will. Or make you feel the way you did.” His sincerity touches me in a way I wasn’t expecting. If I was drawn to competent and commanding Graham before, this side of him is something else entirely. Something I’ve never experienced. “Because the way you looked at me…” His voice cracks. “I never,everwant to make you look at me like that again. I don’t think I could handle it.”

His admission leaves me speechless.Tell him how you feel. Tell him what his words mean to you. Tell him SOMETHING!

“Graham…I…” I’m struggling to find words worthy of his, but I reach back over, taking his warm hand in mine again. “I just hope you know how sorry I am and that nothing like that will ever happen again in the office. I'll give you my word.” Graham smiles, giving my hand another squeeze before he releases it and stands.

“Thank you for saying that, Will. I forgive you just as I hope you forgive me.” I nod my head. “It’s late and we’ve both got an early morning tomorrow, but I will say this,” he says from the doorway, his hand on the knob. He turns to face me, his eyes glance from my eyes to my lips and I can feel the anticipation radiating off his body, the spark of electricity filling the space between us. “Iamhere for you. In the office or…otherwise. So if you start to feel this way again, please know that you can always talk to me.”

“Thank you, Graham.” His kindness and empathy toward me in a moment when I probably didn’t deserve it after the way I treated him today, especially so publicly, threaten to bring back the tears. “That means more than you know.”

With the gentlest of smiles and a small wave, Graham turns, racing back into the rain just when he’d begun to dry off, leaving me equal parts nervous about the coming workday but more excited than ever to see him again.

CHAPTERNINE

Hanging my jacket up,the slightest flash of yellow catches my eye on the framed picture of my college friends and me at winter formal.

Unable to hide the grin that only a note from Graham could put on my face, I grab the piece of paper, put it in my desk drawer, and pour myself into my work so that I can rush out of here on time tonight. If I get everything done this afternoon, I’ll have enough time to run home, rinse off, and change before meeting him for dinner.

I peek over the cubicle wall at Klair. “Psst. Guess who asked me to dinner?” I whisper which causes her to snap her head up from her computer, giving me the best friend forever attention an occasion like this deserves.

“Stop. Did he text you?” she asks. Come to think of it, Graham and I haven’t exchanged phone numbers yet, so he couldn’t possibly message me even if he wanted to.

“No, but there was a note from him on my desk. He must have left it here when we were out of the office.” It genuinely makes me smile picturing Graham Austin sitting in his office writing little notes and waiting for just the right moment to deliver it.

“That is probably the sweetest, most adorable thing I’ve ever heard. Who even still does that?” Klair says while visibly melting. “Where did he ask you to meet him?”

“That new Italian place downtown, Nona’s.”

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