Page 32 of You & I, Rewritten

Being back here, in the home that defined so much of my early life, and seeing Graham interact so seamlessly with my family, it felt like a dream. He’s honestly the first guy I’ve ever brought back with the intention of meeting my parents. Sure, there had been others whohappenedto meet my family, but their meetings were never intentional on my part.

With Graham, I wanted this—to immerse him in my world and pull back the curtain to a life I had before becoming the man he knows today.Well, almost.

Watching him now snoop through the things I cherished most as a kid…my collection of books, the random ribbons and trophies I’ve accumulated, he’s even thrown on my high school varsity jacket—Oh Lord, now THAT’S a sight—I can’t help but feel that whatever is going on between Graham and me is more serious than anything I’ve ever experienced. And as much as that terrifies the hell out of me, the thought puts the biggest smile on my face. It leads me to walk over to Graham as he’s looking at my collection of movie stubs on my cork board and wrap my arms around him, resting my cheek against his shoulder.

“Oh hello,” he says in that cool and sweet tone that I love so much, placing his hands on top of mine as I squeeze him tightly.

“Did you have a nice time tonight?” I nervously ask, planting a soft kiss on his neck, inhaling the scent that can now only be described ashim.

He turns around so we are standing face-to-face, never letting go of his hold on me, and offers a wide, toothy smile. “I had an amazing time tonight, truly.” Graham reaches up and places his hand on the side of my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb. “I can see where you get your cute little quirks from. And your parents are adorable. I love how much they clearly love one another, even after all these years.”

Bringing my face to his, Graham kisses me in a way that instantly replaces any tension or doubt or insecurity I was feeling. I’ll never not be surprised by the softness of his lips against mine, a stark contrast to the burn of his two-day-old stubble. As I deepen the kiss and press myself tighter against him, longing for more of, well,him,Graham pulls back.This is a first.

“Now that I have you alone,” he says with lips still pressed against mine as I’m pulling at the waistband of his jeans. My hand slowly slides against the taut skin of his hips, feeling him tremble under my touch as my hand travels south. “I…I really did want to ask you about something.” His voice sounds hesitant, nervous even, and I’m instantly intrigued.Not enough to remove my hand from his crotch.

“…ok? What’s up?”

He leads me over to my much-smaller-than-I-remember full-sized bed. “Sit with me?” Panic instantly floods my veins. Why is this seeming so serious all of a sudden. I sit next to Graham, my body rigid with anxiety having literally no idea what is going to come out of his mouth. “When you were helping your mom in the kitchen earlier, I was looking at all of the family photos your mom has hanging around.”

Shit.My blood runs cold because I knowexactlywhat he’s going to ask me.How the hell did I forget about that photo?

“I noticed an older photo, you couldn’t have been more than ten or eleven years old, but you were with someone who very clearly wasn’t the man I met this evening. I only ask out of curiosity and absolutely respect your privacy…” his voice fading off as he looks anywhere but at me.Is Graham anxious right now? Another first.

My gears are turning at how to navigate this conversation without getting too detailed, but at this point, looking at Graham—who’s still wearing my varsity jacket by the way—how the hell can I possiblynotopen up to this man. Time and time again, he’s shown me just how nonjudgmental he is, so the least I can do is be fully honest with him. As much as that goes against every fiber of my being when it comes to this situation, he deserves that.

Probably seeing or feeling my inner turmoil, Graham reaches over, taking both of my hands in his and says, “Forget I asked…it was an unnecessary question.”

“Nothing from you is ever unnecessary, handsome…” I exhale. Graham is searching my face now, his eyes filled with concern that he’s possibly overstepped. The last thing I want is for him to feel like he’s done something wrong, because he hasn’t.He’s perfect, per usual.Breathe, Will.“That picture you saw? That’s my biological father,” I choke out through closed eyes. There. It’s out in the world and seemingly nothing catastrophic has happened.Yet.

“Oh okay, so John is your stepfath…”

“No,” I say more forcefully than I probably meant to, causing Graham to lean back. This has always been such a sensitive subject for me, especially when I was younger, and one of the reasons why I’ve stopped bringing my father up.One of them.“No…he is my dad. Always has been, always will be.” My statement lingers awkwardly between us, sending waves of the most uncomfortable heat over every inch of my body. This right here is why I don’t ever voluntarily bring this up. Not because of him or my past…or even how it feels, but because of the physical reaction it causes me. Thinking ofhimmakes me feel like I’ve been engulfed in flames, a blistering burn that for the last ten years I’ve succeeded in avoiding.

“John and my mom have been together for as long as I can remember,” I try to explain through long, controlled breaths. “My father served in the military and was gone a lot. When I did see him, it was…it…” My mouth is dry at the memory of spending time with him. It’s been years since I’ve seen him and the pain is still just as raw. “I’ve just always called John ‘Dad’ because that’s who he’s been to me since the moment he came into my life. He’s my dad.”

Graham, who always chooses his words very carefully, appears deep in thought, his brow now furrowed as he looks down at our intertwined hands.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I know this is probably weird and you probably think—”

“There is absolutelynothingfor you to apologize for,” he interrupts, his tone soft as he meets my gaze. “I’m the sorry one, Will. It was never,evermy intention to bring up anything that causes you pain or harm.”

I lean my shoulder into him, resting my head on his and putting my arm on his leg. “This is such a me thing. Most people have no problem sharing about their families, regardless of the baggage that comes with that.” I brush my lips against his jaw and say, “I just don’t like being reminded of everything that comes withhim.”

“Which is perfectly fine, and again, I apologize for bringing it up,” he exhales. “But I hope you know that I would never judge you or think of you any differently because of who is in or out of your life or where you come from. I understand the complexities of family dynamics, so if youdoever want to talk about it, I’m here.”

Everything about Graham is genuine, from the way he throws himself full-throttle into every work project to the way he speaks with me. It’s so easy with him—easy to be myself and easy to hope for a happier future. But this? Talking to Graham about this makes me feel like I’m shattering into a million pieces, my body left jagged and splintered, unable to be put back together. Because ever since the last time I saw my father, the only thing I’ve cared about, the only thing I’ve worked toward, is becoming the opposite of him. I look at Graham, holding his gaze and even though he doesn’t know my father, I just pray he sees me for who I am, for the man I’ve strived so hard to be.

“Just kiss me,” I say, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him on top of me. “I just need you to kiss me and never stop.”

And he listens. Graham’s lips claim mine, soft at first but then with a need that matches what I’ve felt all night. I don’t know if it’s because we are in my childhood home or the intensity of our conversation, but I want him more than I ever have before. I reach for the hem of his sweater, desperate to feel the warmth of his skin on my own and in one swift movement, Graham’s shirt and my varsity jacket are on the floor, his muscled body on full display.

High school me would NEVER believe this was happening.

“Take your clothes off.” His demand causes me to pant, knowing what’s coming.Hopefully me.

I quickly remove my clothes, eager to have his hands over every inch of me. He hovers over me, his eyes burning with lust, and before I can beg him to fuck me, his lips are on my neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin, causing me to shiver with pleasure. Pinning my hands down, he trails kisses across my chest, flicking my nipple with his tongue, and down my stomach. My cock is throbbing, begging to be touched and when he takes me fully in his mouth, my eyes roll to the back of my skull.

Fuuuuuck.

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