Page 7 of You & I, Rewritten

Remembering the light blue oxford I threw on this morning, I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. “Graham, I don’t think that’s…” I stop myself when I realize he’s back to texting. “You know what? It doesn’t matter.” I glance down at the several items remaining on our checklist and all I want is for this torturous exercise to be over with.

“Well, that was the last thing on the list…” I lie, quickly turning to leave his office. “I hope you have a good rest of your day, Graham.” I couldn’t tell you if he acknowledged my exit or not and frankly, I don’t care. Based on this entire interaction, I’m pretty sure I could set myself on fire right now and he wouldn’t even notice.

Everything about this man has left me dazed and confused and while I don’t know if I have the mental willpower required to fully understand all that is Graham Austin, all I can think about as I walk down the hall, disappointment flooding my nervous system, is that taking this job just might be one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

CHAPTERTHREE

There isno denying I was standing on the edge of a full-blown Will Cowen spiral.

My recent interaction—correction:interactions, plural—with Graham have played on a torturous loop in my mind and as much as I want to vent to Klair, I’ve chosen not to tell her about the whole ice breaker from hell fiasco. The last thing I want to do is make her feel responsible for how badly the scenario she concocted for Graham and I backfired. Because let’s face it—theonlyone responsible for whatever that mess was is Graham.

Quitting isn’t a realistic option, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about calling up my old boss in Chicago and seeing if my position had already been filled. But I don’t think I’d ever forgive myself ifa boywas the reason I walked away from an amazing opportunity. Do I need Graham to like me? Absolutely not. I can’t see us shooting the shit at the proverbial water cooler anytime soon but it for sure would make working together far more tolerable if I didn’t think the man was physically inconvenienced by my presence.

So, in typical Cowen family fashion, I spend the first hour or so the following morning creating a pros and cons list about the current state of my life—which may seem trivial, but right now? I can’t trust the tangled mess that is my brain and I need to feel some semblance of control if I’m going to avoid a total meltdown.

Pro: For the first time ever, I get to work alongside Klair. Outside of job progression, that’s pretty much the biggest and only perk about taking this job that I was excited about.

Con: Graham Austin appears to hate me.

Pro:APH is leading the way when it comes to sharing diverse stories, promoting Own Voices and isexactlywhere I want to be working.

Con:Graham Austindefinitelyhates me.

Pro:That parking lot smile.Ugh.

Klair leans over our shared wall, interrupting my professional existential crisis but as always, it’s a welcome and much needed distraction. She’s been poring over a manuscript since the moment we sat down this morning.

“Quick question: do you think the wholefriends-to-loverstrope is becoming overplayed? I feel like I’ve seen eight come across my desk in the last month.”

I love talking all things romance with Klair. She and I agree on most things, but while I’m a total lost cause for brooding love interests and impossible storylines, Klair likes her romance to have a bit more substance and logic. “You know me…give me as manyWill they, Won’t theymoments as possible! Why do you ask?” I put my pro-con list away for now because I can guarantee this conversation will be far more interesting and let’s be honest, a great distraction for my mental health.

“I’m just really stuck on the believability of the relationship of these main characters, you know?” She hands me the manuscript she was just reading and points to a highlighted section. As I read and reread the section she’s indicated, I see it’s a very stereotypical childhood-crush-turned-adult-best-friend—one who’s forced to hide their true feelings.

“I wouldn’t say this is a case of it beingoverplayed,” I say, fanning the pages and skimming their contents. “Maybe you could adjust the timeline slightly? Force our main characters to comebackinto one another’s orbits earlier and make their relationship feel a little more natural? Just a thought…”

“Ooh I like that…I’ll make that note and see if that changes how I feel about it! See? This is why I adore you,” she says, her gears clearly turning as she begins scribbling in the margins.

“YouknowI’m always here to help...especially when it comes to romance tropes.”

Before I can turn my attention back to my computer, Klair and I are suddenly joined at our workstation by a visibly irritated Graham.

“Klair, have you finalized the edits I gave you yesterday?” If his tone wasn’t so sharp, I’d be able to appreciate the fact that he’s dressed in a tailored, light gray suit that makes his hazel eyes pop in stark contrast to his crisp white dress shirt.

“I’m actually wrapping them up now and will have them to you shortly,” she responds, barely lifting her gaze. Her tone is light despite the obvious irritation he’s exhibiting.What is with this guy?

“Oh hi, Graham. We were just talking about romance tropes. What’s your favorite? Enemies to lovers?” I ask, perhaps placing too much emphasis on the wordenemies.

He turns his gaze toward mine, those piercing eyes of his give me a once over and it takes every ounce of self-confidence to not cower away.

“I don’t have one,” he says, his tone matching the indifference of his gaze as he returns his attention back toward Klair. “Can you just get those edits to me as soon as you’re done?”

After delivering his marching orders, Graham leaves as abruptly as he appeared and heads toward the break room.Don’t do it, Will. Don’t do it…

“Hey, Graham…do you have a second?” I call after him, gathering whatever courage and calm I can muster as I follow him down the hall and into our office breakroom.

“Will, I don’t think tha…” I hear Klair whisper behind me, but it’s too late.Somethingis up with this man. After our first interaction, I was bothered by the way he casually dismissed me during our staff meeting. It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my professional career—especially on someone’s first day. When we spoke later, his demeanor seemed completely different so I gave him a pass and chalked it up to a potential bad day. Especially after everything that Klair shared with me about him being there for her when she didn’t even ask for it.

But then the humiliating ice breaker activity happened, and I have just been fuming ever since. No, I am most certainly addressing this.Right the fuck now.

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