Page 34 of Winging It with You

Dalton turns toward the large screen behind him, his camera following his line of vision as the rows of all our names begin to flash and shuffle. Heat radiates from Theo’s hand. Our fate is once again determined by random reality-TV enthusiasts across the country. When I turn to meet his gaze, he gives me a little nudge.

The leaderboard continues to flash, and the sound crew fills the unbearably tense silence between us with upbeat but suspenseful music. It’s only a matter of time before someone is informed that their time on the show has come to an end.

The shared elimination limbo is probably the worst thing about all this.

In one moment, your life can be turned upside down and you’re left figuring out if the planning and the personal and professional sacrifices were worth it.

If you were even worth it.

And just when you think you’ve found some solid ground, the rules change. You get dumped at the airport and a row of flashing lights turns on informing you that you’ve finished dead last.

I don’t think I’ve really given myself a moment to think about what it would mean to be sent home.

To a house that is no longer mine.

To a joint financial situation that I already know is going to be a battle.

And to a reality that feels more like a tragically comical nightmare.

Everything about my future feels uncertain, and damn, if I allow myself to go down that path—the one that is marked by one unfulfilled and delusional chapter after another—I might just fall apart.

Theo slumps against me as the screen before us comes to life, but I think we knew this was coming after two back-to-back disasters. Arthur circles us now, a little too closely, capturing my disappointment that’s echoed in Theo’s face.

“There you have it, folks.” Dalton is gleeful, and on every level, I believe he’s getting some sort of twisted enjoyment out of our public failure. “After two challenges, here is the current ranking of this season’s contestants onThe Epic Trek.Coming in first place, we have our early leaders, Bianca and Jackson…” The sound crew plays a thunderous round of artificial applause, to which Jackson responds with a stiff wave and Bianca adjusts her long red ponytail, her catlike features gleaming from the praise and attention. “And rounding out the bottom of the leaderboard are our favorite lovers, Theo and Asher.” Instead of applause, someone thought it would be better to let thewomp womp wompof a sad trombone reverberate across the room. Bianca is practically purring from her spot in front of the main camera, and Dalton’s toothy grin is toeing the line between charismatic and sinister at this point.

“Now, our leaderboard isn’t the be-all, end-all in this competition,” Dalton continues, making his way to the massive LED-lit board with all our names. “Some ofThe Epic Trek’smost beloved winners from previous seasons were not frontrunners throughout the entire competition. In fact, the votes of our viewers at home have saved many contestants from certain eliminations.” Bianca folds her arms across her chest, and her features narrow as if to challenge Dalton’s statement.

The sound crew now plays a suspenseful tune, one filled with ominous, drawn-out notes that really just do wonders for my growing anxiety. This is it. I don’t even have to see the results to know that Theo and I are moments away from being sent home. I can feel it in my bones. Maybe if I’d tried harder or if I’d been a better partner we wouldn’t be in this situation.

Maybe if I’d just been better in general.

My stomach instantly knots when I think aboutwhyI’m doing this in the first place. My plans for the STEM program and the scholarship opportunities I’d hoped to offer. The experiments and the supplies and the hands-on learning. Half a million dollars won’t solve all my problems, but it’s a starting point and a solid step forward.

And when I look at Theo, my heart constricts at the thought of his literal lifelong dream of owning his own plane slipping away.

Our dreams, his and mine, both swirl down the drain that is my life, because I couldn’t get my shit together and give this competition my all.

“After today’s challenge, America has voted…”

Regret floods my veins. Regret and shame and disappointment that I didn’t make the most of this opportunity, and I’m not even ready to talk about the complicated feelings I’m having for Theo. Infatuation? Lust?

“…and they’ve decided…” For the love of all things holy, put me out of this misery.

Dalton’s purposely drawing this moment out in the most painful manner possible, and while I get the higher the stakes, the higher the ratings, anyone who’s ever worried about ratings has clearly never been on the receiving end of a reality television show elimination episode.

“…thateveryoneis safe from elimination this week.”

I’m sorry, what? I turn toward Theo, who looks about as stunned and confused as I feel, and he just shrugs. Arthur nearly trips over himself to capture our reactions as quickly as they form across each of our faces.

That’s a wrap on S25E2.

It could be the unexpected relief that’s overwhelming my nervous system or the fact that I’mtooaware of how Arthur and his camera are waiting in the wings for a moment like this, but I launch myself at Theo anyway, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding on for dear life, silently thanking whoever’s listening for this second chance.

For the competition.

And for pulling this whole thing off.

Together.

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