Page 102 of Pucking Your Best Friend

She took a step back, perplexed. As if he’d pushed her. Her eyes widened and her lips parted slightly. “What are you talking about?”

“Well…” He took a shuddering breath and ran his hand through his hair. “You want peace and we were…more harmonious when we were just friends. Weren’t we?”

She blinked. Once. Twice.

“Yeah, I guess so. But why are you asking me that?”

“Because I don’t want to hurt you.”And you could break me. “So, maybe it’s better if we stop.”

“What?” Her voice was so quiet that he could barely hear it, but it hit him like tiny needles piercing his heart.

He glanced away, stared over her shoulder. He didn’t dare say what he wanted to say if he looked her in her face. He wouldn’t go through with it if he noticed her eyes glistening.

“Sleeping together. Let’s stop sleeping together. Just be friends. That will be…more harmonious.” He swallowed. “Then we won’t have to argue. Not about stupid ex-boyfriends, at least. We won’t have to be careful. I mean…relationships come and go. But friendships stay. I want you to stay.”No. I needit.I need you. “You don’t want to argue with me, Maddie. I want to keep you. Maybe…maybe going back to being friends is the solution.”

Chapter 28

Maddie felt like her heart was in a garbage compactor, steadily being crushed until it started bleeding, until it threatened to burst, filling her chest with numbing pain.

Every word that came out of Matt’s mouth was an arrow that unerringly struck her.

And he wouldn’t even look at her. He had tried, he’d tried to be with her. But the attempt had…failed?

Her eyes burned and every breath felt as if ice water was filling her lungs.

How could he feel like he’d failed when she’d had the best week of her life? How could Matt say something like that when…when…

She narrowed her eyes and looked down.

But those were her feelings, not his. That had been her experience – maybe not his.

He washerdream man. But she wasn’t his dream woman. She was just…his dream platonic friend, someone he’d wanted to have sex with for a short time.

“Okay,” she said in a choked voice. “Sure, then…”

She paused, unable to say the words. Yes, she hated confrontation. She hated arguing, but…

“No,” she whispered and looked up. She was his dream woman, too! She had felt it in his every touch, read it in every look he had given her. She was what he wanted. She couldn’t be wrong.Not again. “No, I don’t understand,” she stated softly. “Why...I don't understand. Explain it to me.”

Finally, Matt looked at her, his expression as warm as usual, but also regretful. Closed. Cautious. His jaw tense.

“I think we’ll be better off as friends in the long run. As long as we realize it early enough,” he said slowly, burying hishands in his pockets. “It’s only been a week so far, Maddie,” he murmured, as if she needed a reminder, as if the last few days with him weren’t all she was thinking about. “It’s not too late…to go back. It’s not too late to…be just friends again.”

He was talking nonsense. Of course it was too late. For her it had been too late from the moment he’d first kissed her. Maybe it had even been too late when Matt smiled at her that very first time, back in the Sunny Umbrella. Maybe she hadn’t dated for the last year because she was waiting for him.

God, she was so stupid. So naive. It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be happening again. She’d thought they wanted the same thing and were on the same page. Matt, however, had obviously only wanted a trial period! And now he’d had enough.

She was head over heels in love. If it wasn’t “too late” for Matt, though…then he obviously didn’t feel the same way about her.

She shook her head, wiping the tears from her cheeks. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. He’d failed. She didn’t want him as a friend, she wanted all of him, with all her heart and soul. She also wanted a man who was certainhewanted her, though.

Something serious or nothing at all – that was her rule. She had broken it without realizing it.

“No,” she whispered. Because it was the only word she could think of. “No.”

“What? No?” he murmured and reached for her hand, but she pulled away. Took a step back. She needed distance.

“No, I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.” The words were so bitter, so big, that she almost choked on them. “It’s too late for me. I can’t…go back. I…I mean…” She blinked. “How can I go back?” The tears streamed down her cheeks and she took another step back. “No.”

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