Page 76 of Pucking Your Best Friend

“I need my back! So you can keep making jokes about my job,” Matt interjected.

“That’s important, obviously.” His father nodded seriously. “You know, Sandra and I told him back then to find something sensible. Or at least study something sensible so he’d have a degree to fall back on if this hockey thing didn’t work out. But what does the boy come back with? An NHL contract and a bachelor’s degree in history!” He exhaled in mock melancholy. “Thus, Matt is now an educated bodybuilder and a smart aleck.”

The crowd laughed.

“Well, at least his muscles are useful!” his mother interjected.

“That’s true.” Her husband winked at her. “And yes, it’s just a coincidence that the grape harvest is about to take place or a wall needs to be built when you visit, Matthew.”

“Ah, yes, of course,” Matt replied dryly. “Just as it’s a coincidence that important babysitting jobs suddenly arise.”

Matt’s sisters giggled and looked at him innocently.

There was so much warmth, so much familiarity.

Matt wasn’t here often, but there was no question that they all trusted him with their children. He was included in every challenge and it was important to him. Everything was so harmonious. Everyone was so united. Everyone was there for each other. They shared their challenges, accepted help, offered help…

Maddie’s eyes burned and her fingers grasped the skirt of her dress tightly.

They were a family. They had nothing but love and a few cheeky remarks for each other. They were so undamaged. So happy.

It made her sad, so unbelievably sad that she had trouble breathing for a few seconds. She had been telling herself for three years that everything was okay: that her dad would pull himself together or get help, that Rachel wasn’t estranged, just physically absent, that her family hadn’t fallen apart upon her mother’s death, that Lucy hadn’t given up on them all and was just too busy with work.

She was lying to herself, though. Her dad had refused to seek help for years. Without her, he would slowly waste away in his own house. Rachel rarely contacted her, so Maddie had no idea what was going on in her life, just as Rachel had no idea what was happening with her. She only had Lucy for help. But Lucy had Dax now and was happy, and forgot everything around her. Maddie was happy for her. Lucyshouldbe happy, but at the same time, she felt…abandoned. She was so tired of being theglue that held them all together by a thread. It was exhausting and grueling and…and…

“Hey,” a deep, warm voice whispered worriedly in her ear. “Is everything okay?”

She blinked and glanced up. She peered into Matt’s questioning face, trying hard to hold back the tears, but a few strays still managed to escape her eyes — and she was incredibly glad that everyone except Matt was still focused on his father’s speech. “I don’t know,” she said and swallowed hard. “I’ve… I guess I’ve just forgotten what a complete family looks like.” She took a shaky breath. “And I miss it.”

Matt looked at her in silence for a moment. Then he slowly wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumb and hugged her so tightly, the air was squeezed out of her lungs, even though he was mad at her. Even though things were weird between them. Despite everything, he held her tight and stroked her head soothingly, kissed the top of her head, and was just…there. Because Matt was a good guy. The best.

“Your family loves you, Maddie,” he whispered. “It’s just hard losing your mother. It will be okay.”

“But when will it be okay, if no one else is fighting for it but me?” Her voice broke. “They rely on me. And it’s nice to be someone people rely on, but it’s so incredibly exhausting, Matt. I don’t get a break because the responsibility is always on my shoulders.”

“I know,” he murmured. “That’s why you have to fight foryourselftoo, Maddie. Not only for others. Because you’re worth it. It’s okay to let the people who love you know how difficult it is for you. And that you need help. Deserve help. That’s why you sometimes have to seek confrontation, otherwise, nothing will change.”

She knew he was right, but it was so difficult! “I’m sorry, Matt. Truly. For telling everyone about…about us. I had a knee-jerk reaction. I panicked.”

“It’s okay,” he whispered.

“No, it’s not! I should have talked about it with you. I should have argued with you instead of just leaving, earlier.”

He pulled away and raised one corner of his mouth. “Yes, you should have.”

She nodded. “Sorry. But we can talk about it. I want everything to be relaxed again, you know? We’re friends. So — if you want to argue, I’ll do my best.”

He raised one corner of his mouth and nodded before gently squeezing her neck. “Not now. Later, okay?”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay.”

Maybe he would forget about it. Maybe that was the discussion they needed and now everything was fine again.

Chapter 20

He couldn’t stay mad at Maddie any longer. It was impossible. After all, she had just panicked and blurted something out. And she hated arguing. And he hated seeing her unhappy, which didn’t mean they wouldn’t have to talk about how to deal with the whole sex thing.

He had meant what he had said: Sometimes you needed confrontation to make things better. Still, confrontation probably wouldn’t help him want Maddie any less. If he was still wondering how far back he could put his car seat, and if she would be open to a little making out before they had to behave in front of his parents, then there was no helping him.

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