Page 83 of Pucking Your Best Friend

“About the fact that you said you didn’t want anything serious, Matt!” she snapped. “You told me you only wanted one-night stands. And you’ve proved it to me for the last twelve months. But now, all of a sudden, you’re telling a complete stranger – a reporter, of all people – that you might be considering marriage and children after all? While you tell me, while I… No!”

Matt looked at her, his mouth gaping. “Why is that relevant?” he asked, perplexed.

“Why?” Her voice was much too loud, but she didn’t care. “The only reason I didn’t go out with you back then was because we fundamentally wanted different things!” Furious, she hit him in the chest with her fist. “I only stopped you from kissing me because I thought you would never be open to anything serious. You said,oh shit,when I told you about my plans, for God’s sake! Now, all of a sudden, you’ve changed your mind — without telling me!” Her eyes burned and this time, she hit his arm. “And you talk about how you don’t want any more affairs. And you want to go on dates with perfect women who aren’t me! And then you tell me that you want me, but my friendship is more important to you and that it would be stupid to start something. Stupid to start something withme, but not with any other women that you wantmeto find for you!” Both of her fists landed on his shoulder. “And then you kiss me anyway and sleep with me and make me feel like I’m the most beautiful creature on earth, and then you just leave the damn bed without a word! Just like every other one-night stand you have!”

She raised her fist again, but this time she failed to hit her target because Matt caught her hands in the air as if they were a puck on the ice. Then he pressed them flat against his chest. Right above his heart, which she could feel beating dully and frantically.

He stared at her. Peered straight into her eyes. His expression was strangely closed, even though she saw a muscle pulse inhis jaw. “Maddie,” he whispered, “youweren’tlike any other one-night stand.” He swallowed and his shoulders rose and fell heavily. “You’d really have gone out with me, back then, if I hadn’t said I was looking for something casual?”

“Of course I would have,” she said, glaring at him angrily. “How can you not know that?”

“You never said anything like that! Why didn’t you just kiss me if you wanted to at the time? Then tell me that you weren’t up for a one-night stand, but you were up for a date?”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Because I’m not one of those women who think a man will change if he meets the right person,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I don’t think, oh, he doesn’t know what he wants! He says he doesn’t want a relationship, but he doesn’t mean it. He just needs to learn what love is in order to be able to commit to a long-term relationship, and he’s only going to learn that with me.” She closed her eyes. “Matt, I watch a lot of romantic movies, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what reality is like. I believe everyone has the right to be upfront about what they want. I even welcome it! If you’re not upfront, you’ll get hurt. And no matter what the other person says…the other person has to accept it. Without trying to change them. So, I assume that people are honest when it comes to things like this! Because I’m naive enough to believe that they want to avoid creating false expectations. So, I’m honest too. I washonestfrom the beginning!” She dug her fingers into the fabric of his shirt. “So, don’t tell me thatI’mthe one who has secrets and isn’t telling you the truth, when it was you who changed your mind. Youalwaysknew what I wanted. You, on the other hand, you never…”

“Maddie, I want you,” he interrupted softly.

She halted abruptly and her heart stopped. “What?’

“I wantyou,” he repeated hoarsely. “I have the right to say what I want, right? And, shit.” He laughed dryly. “Right now, Iwant you against that wall.” He nodded over her shoulder. “Then in bed again. Then I want to dance with you downstairs and watch you wrestle with whether or not to have a second dessert. Then I want to know howMatch Me!is doing…and then I want to take you back home with me, bend you over the damn kitchen island, and make you come with my mouth. And, fuck, you have no idea how many times I stared at those fucking handcuffs and wondered if you’ve been fantasizing about being bound to the bed — or if you want to tiemeup.” He swallowed and tightened his fingers around her wrist while he ran his free hand up her back, his fingers lingering light as a feather on the edge between fabric and skin. “Because I would have absolutely no problem with that.”

Heat flooded her abdomen and chest, a fluttering heat that made her moisten her lips, making the desire that had been simmering under her skin for days burst forth. God, she wanted him to do all those things.

She couldn’t, though.

“Matt, we can’t just…have sex the way we want and hope everything goes well,” she whispered.

“I know,” he replied seriously. “But, you didn’t understand me. I wantyou. Not sex. Well, that too.” The corners of his mouth rose. “But not only that. I meant what I said. Our friendship is important to me. But…I’m not done with you yet. Maybe I’ll never be done with you, but there’s no way to know that unless I try. So, can I?” He let go of her hands and ran his thumb over her lower lip. Everywhere he touched, he left behind a trail of goosebumps. “I can’t think of anything but our night together. I can’t sleep. I can’t concentrate when you’re near me.”

“Then you really shouldn’t drive with me in the passenger seat,” she whispered, the heat spreading uncontrollably through her body.

He chuckled softly. “No, probably not. What I’m trying to say is that you’re right. You were honest. From the beginning.” He reached behind her neck with his big hand and ran his thumb over the sensitive spot under her ear. “And I don’t want you to break your rules because of me.”

“What rules?” she asked, having a difficult time remembering anything except his touch.

“You want something serious or nothing at all.”

Her mouth went dry and she nodded.

“Would you be ready too…” His gaze slid hesitantly over her face, stopping at her lips. “Would you be ready for something serious with me, too?”

Her stomach contracted.Yes, her stomach said.Panic, her mind said. “I…you…” She cleared her throat and bit her lip. She wanted to push herself against him and simply taste, feel, not think anymore. But this was important! “Matt, have you thought about this carefully?” she asked.

He lifted one corner of his mouth — and nodded. “For the last half hour. You don’t want anything casual and I want you. And the thought of you being with another guy…” He gritted his teeth and shook his head. “So, should we try?”

Her hands were shaking as she stared at him. She studied his hesitant expression. He wasn’t absolutely certain. Hedidn’tknow if she was the woman of his dreams. And she didn’t know if he would shred her heart into a thousand pieces.

“I’m scared too, okay?” he murmured as if he had read her thoughts. He looked directly into her eyes and paused. “You are so incredibly important to me. I need you in my life so badly. Your advice, your witty comments, your whole attitude.You. What will it be like when we’re more than friends? So, yes, I’m scared that we’ll ruin it and I’ll end up losing you completely. But…” He swallowed, “I think we might be worth it. I knowyouare. I don’t think I could ever regret having sex with you…spendingtimewith you.”

How could she not throw all her doubts out the window when she heard those words? How could she not push aside her worries? How could she forget her fear of making the same mistake she had made with Clemens?

It was the hottest thing anyone had ever said to her. It was Matt, and she wanted him, and he wanted her.

So, she grabbed him by the collar, pulled him down to her, and answered his question with her lips. She kissed him slowly and thoroughly. Took all the time in the world to show him that no one could regret something so good.

She hoped.

When Matt returned the kiss, she stopped thinking and doubting. When Matt kissed her, there was no room in her mind for anything but him.

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