Page 92 of Pucking Your Best Friend

He nodded slowly. “I understand. Obviously, you don’t have to talk about it. I can just slowly waste away on this sofa, dying of curiosity.”

The hint of a smile crossed her lips. “You’re dramatic today.”

“We watchedDirty Dancingon the flight back. I may have let it influence me.”

Maddie laughed and then sighed heavily. Pensively, she placed the glass of water on the table, then stretched out on the sofa and rested her head on his thigh. Her mouth was therefore close to his still naked private parts. Under normal circumstances that would have distracted him. His chest still felt tight, though, and a bitter taste filled his mouth.

“You don’t have to tell me, Maddie,” he whispered, gently stroking her forehead, and running his index finger down her cheek over her lips. “If you want to keep it to yourself, I can accept that.”

“No, it’s fine.” She smiled tentatively. “We’re…together now.” Her cheeks turned the prettiest shade of red. “You should probably know. So, we met in college. Sophomore year. Clemens was also a social science major. He was handsome, brilliant… We became friends and eventually ended up in bed. And then again and again. That was supposed to be the whole story. We met and fell in love – were a couple, so I thought – practically living together. Until I caught him with someone else and our relationship went up in flames.” A mirthless smile spread across her face.

“Fuck,” he muttered, gently tracing circles on her collarbone.

“Oh, that’s not the bad part. You know, if that had been it, it would have sucked, but it would have been okay. Then Clemens would be an asshole and I would be the victim. But…” Haltingly, she rubbed her lips together. “Well, the thing is, when I caughthim and screamed that he was a bastard and that I never wanted to see him again…he just looked at me completely confused and said that he didn’t understand what my problem was. Because we weren’t together. We had never had a discussion about being exclusive. We had an affair, but not a serious relationship. He assumed that I would sleep with other people on the side, too.” She narrowed her eyes and rubbed her forehead as if just thinking about the scene was painful. “And he was right, you know? We never talked about being in a committed relationship. But shit, we slept together regularly for two years, saw each other every week… I loved him.” She swallowed audibly. “But I was just a fling for him. A nice way to pass the time.” She shook her head with a sigh and laughed bitterly. “It took me years to get over him. But it’s not even his fault that I felt so bad. It’s mine. I didn’t understand. I didn’t pay attention. I didn’t ask. I just assumed we were together. So, basically, I broke my own heart.” She tugged restlessly at her lower lip. “That’s why since then, I’ve always told everyone I’ve met that I want something serious or nothing at all. So that my cards are on the table from the start. So that the same thing doesn’t happen again. Do you understand?” Uncertainty still in her expression, she looked up at him.

“I understand,” he murmured, although his brain was rattling loudly. They had slept together for two years and Clemens hadn’t known he was in a relationship? Or at least, Maddie believed they were? What a complete idiot. On the other hand…Dax and Lucy hadn’t realized they were together, either. So, maybe it happened more often than people thought.

Still, the story didn’t sit well with him. It bothered him that Maddie blamed herself for having her heart broken. What bothered him most, though, was that she still called Clemens agood guy– the man she had believed was her soul mate.

And there was something else that worried him.

“You were only friends before you started sleeping together?” he asked quietly.

She nodded. “Yes. Pretty good ones, actually. That’s probably why I took it too seriously too soon. Because we…already had a history together.” She frowned and intertwined her fingers with his, which were still resting on her collarbone. “Feelings grow deeper faster when you already know each other.” She smiled up at him shyly. “Right?”

He returned her smile and kissed her gently on the forehead even though his heart was fluttering in his chest like a hummingbird. He knew what she meant, but he needed to know something else. “And you’re still friends and talk on the phone often?”

He told himself that he needed to know; it was the only way he could find out if jealousy was warranted. But that wasn’t all, because Clemens and Maddie’s relationship had started the same way as theirs. And it would calm him down almost as much as it would perturb him if the guy was still part of her life. That would at least mean that if they didn’t work out…

Maddie snorted loudly. “No. We contact each other once a year for our birthdays. We occasionally met for a coffee, but that was a long time ago and we haven’t spoken on the phone in ages. I think he believes we’re still friends, otherwise, he probably wouldn’t have invited me to his wedding, but… No.” She shook her head vehemently. “I can’t stay friends with the guy I spent two years imagining a future with. If it had really only been casual sex, then maybe. But not this. It’s too weird. There would always be something standing between us, you know? You can never go back to some kind of normality.”

She shrugged and kissed the back of his hand. He automatically stroked her hair and wrapped a strand around his index finger. He enjoyed the intimacy of their touches, the naturalness with which she lay on his lap. The closeness.

He had always felt close to Maddie, closer than anyone else in his life, even when they were just friends. And as long as he had that closeness…

He stared at the blank TV screen on the opposite wall.

I can’t stay friends with the guy I spent two years imagining a future with.

He swallowed. No, of course she couldn’t. And it had been the right decision for them to try.

Or had it?

No. It had. It was fantastic between the two of them. And he wanted Maddie to imagine the future with him. After all, shehadto be in his, no matter how.

Preferably this way.

If it didn’t work out, though…

He swallowed and took a deep breath. It was going well! Better than well. He was so in love, he couldn’t think straight. He really shouldn’t worry.

Chapter 25

Even forty-eight hours later, when they had their last practice session before Sunday’s game, he was still thinking about Maddie’s words – the words that haunted his dreams.

I can’t stay friends with the guy I spent two years imagining a future with.

He hit something hard with his elbow and flinched.

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