Page 77 of The Catch

Josh shoved his hand in his hair and sniffed loudly, then he looked up at the ceiling. Dani looked at her, guilt-stricken; Sonya looked at her plate. Adam and Emma looked… disappointed.

“I’m going to get some air,” he said, his chair scratching along the floor as he pushed away from the table.

“Nice job, Dani,” Adam said.

Dani held her hand over her mouth as she watched Josh push out the front door. “Cat, I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I said that.”

“It’s not your fault.” If she hadn’t said what she’d said the other day, maybe they would all be laughing about this right now, instead of staring down at their plates awkwardly. She looked at Emma across the empty chair Josh had left, praying she would see one of her soothingeverything is going to be fine, Catsmiles, but she was sharing a look with Sonya that seemed like the opposite.

“You gonna go after him?” Adam asked, snapping her thoughts back.

“Of course.” She would just go talk to him. Josh just needed a minute to cool down. He was always rational. This was a glitch, a fluke. She pushed her chair out and stood, praying this wasn’t as bad as it felt.

The snow that had drifted dreamily from the sky while they shopped had turned to icy little pinpricks, stinging Cat’s skin when she stepped out of the restaurant. She spotted Josh leaning on his Jeep in the parking lot across the street, his back turned to her. The holiday lights strung around the lamp posts cast a festive rainbow over his dark jacket and damp hair, but there was a heaviness in the way his shoulders hung that made her breath unsteady. She waited for a break in the traffic, then crossed the street.

“Josh,” she said when her boots hit the crunchy gravel of the parking lot.

“It’s okay, Catia. I just needed some air.”

“No. It’s not okay.”

“Just give me a minute.”

She touched his arm. “Please look at me.”

She regretted that when he did turn, and she saw his eyes narrowed into angry slits. “You know what, Cat? You’re right. It’s not okay. It was incredibly selfish and immature.”

She took a step back, startled. “Josh… I—”

“Was this all a game to you?”

“No. Of course not.”

“All this time, Cat…” His voice trailed off, and he caught it with a cough that came from deep in his chest. She wanted to reach out to him, but his eyes told her not to. “All this time I was falling in love with you, and you had one foot out the door. You wanted this to fail from the beginning.”

“It wasn’t like that.” But as soon as she said it, she knew it was. That was exactly what she’d wanted, only it was her who had failed. She failed gloriously, spectacularly. She’d fallen flat on her face, and Josh pulled her up, brushed her off, and gave her this amazing thing that she treasured. He’d beat her at her own game, and she’d never been more happy to lose. “It was a long time ago, Josh,” she said, her voice beginning to crack.

He brought his hands to his temples, suddenly exasperated. “It was the foundation that we builteverythingon, Cat!”

“No—”

“This is why you didn’t want to move in.”

“I did!” she reminded him. “You said no.”

With one withering look, he projected the entire conversation onto his face, and she stopped her tired, useless defense.

“Josh, I didn’t know what you and I were going to be when I made that stupid bet. You’re right, I didn’t want to fall in love with you, but I did anyway, and I’m so glad I did. Please. You’re taking this all wrong.”

The wind picked up, tossing the ice around their faces, and Josh squinted against the onslaught making his face look even angrier. “What have I ever done to make you think I was going to hurt you, Cat? What has ever happened between us that made you so sure it couldn’t be me?”

“Nothing,” she cried. “Nothing at all. You’ve never been anything but… perfect.”

“Well,” he said, “you win, Catia. Cause I’m not.” He pulled his key fob out of his pocket and unlocked his car door.

“Wait,” she said, grabbing at the sleeve of his jacket. “Josh, you said you didn’t want to do this—that you were sorry for leaving last time.”

Hesitation flashed across his expression, but he kept going, opening the door.

---