Dani’s eyes were unmoved, but he continued.
“I had every intention of telling my mom about us. Being all in with you. Hell, I was even looking forward to the shock on her face. But then my sister called and said she and her husband were coming. It turned into this whole thing and I panicked. I was about to show up to a Pierce Family event with a girlfriend. You have to understand, I’veneverdone that before. Instead of a meal with my mom, it felt like a statement I wasn’t ready to make.” He paused, his heart hammering. “God, it sounds stupid coming out of my mouth, Dani. I know how stupid it sounds. But there’s a difference.” His voice cracked and he looked at the ceiling. How could he make her understand this?
“Tell me,” she said quietly. He met her eyes again and she gave an almost imperceptible nod. Enough to put some air back into his lungs to finish.
“I know it doesn’t sound like a big difference, two extra guests, but my sister is not my mother. My mom has typical mother expectations but she doesn’t understand why it’s so fucking hard. She’s blissfully ignorant to what our dad leaving did to us. She needs to be, maybe. And explaining it to her feels ungrateful for how hard she worked to make us feel like a normal family. How can I tell her that she worked two jobs and volunteered for all our school shit and ran herself ragged all those years and we still ended up fucked up? So I let her think I’m just some player who doesn’t want anything real—no correlation to my father and the blood that runs through my veins. I lie to her every day. I lie to everyone, every fucking day.”
Shit, it felt so good to say it. Like a dam breaking, the water rushing over him, making him clean.
“I can’t lie to my sister like that,” he went on. “She lived what I did. She knows what it means for me to put that aside and choose to be with someone. Be with you. It’s a choice to make a stand and say that I’m not him. I didn’t know if I could do it. What if I fucked it up, you know? What if I made that stand and then I found out I was wrong? It was easier just to hide for a little while longer where things felt easy. You and me, we felt easy before all of this. I liked it there, Dani. I want to go back. But I also want to make the stand.”
Dani blinked, her dark eyelashes fluttering. “Dylan.”
“I know it’s a shitty excuse.”
“No,” she said, touching the corner of her eye. “It’s not. But you didn’t have to lie. I would have understood.”
Dylan laughed humorlessly. “That might be the worst part about it. I know you would have. I just didn’t want you to know. I’ve spent my whole life trying not to let that part of me show. The part that came from him. But Cat said something to me earlier. She asked me to think of my worst day and then tell her who I wished was by my side when it happened. I’ve never thought of how it would feel to let someone see it. To lean on someone else. But when I imagined it, it was you.”
He paused and took a deep breath through his nose. This was his chance to man up, embrace what he’d been afraid to.
“Somewhere between wanting to get in your pants and wanting to be your friend, I fell in love with you, Dani-pie.”
Dani laughed, a tear spilling over her cheek. “Thank God. I was afraid the real Dylan got lost somewhere, but you’re still in there.”
Dylan’s smile nudged its way in. “I’m always going to be me, unfortunately. But I’m going to try so hard to be the me that you liked for the last few months.”
“I’ve always liked you, Dylan. Friends, remember?”
A lump formed in his throat. Had he just confessed he was in love with her, just to get the same friend speech they’d started with?
But her tears fell faster now, and she pressed her fingers to her temples. “Damn it, Dylan. I hate crying.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No. Don’t be sorry. I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone to tell me something that real. To think of me as more than just a fun time. I more than like you. I love how you can’t let a sappy moment stand without throwing a joke in. I love how loyal you are to your friends. I love how you make any event more fun just by walking in. And I love that stupid grin of yours when you know you’ve made me melt over something you’ve said. Like right now.”
She pointed at him and he realized he was smiling again.
“That one,” she said. “I love that face. I’ve missed it so much. God, I didn’t know it until right now, but I love you too.”
Dylan launched himself across the table, nearly knocking Dani’s glass of wine onto the marble floor. She caught it though, pushing it aside while he cupped her face and kissed her. He pulled her bottom lip between his teeth, biting gently, and she made a little whimper of a noise.
“Let’s go,” he said. “I want to take you somewhere.”
“Can we eat there, because I was supposed to be having a fancy antipasto salad right now.”
“We can definitely eat there, and no salad. You don’t even like salad.”
“I hate salad.”
“Good. I’m going to feed you.” He reached into his wallet and threw a twenty on the table to cover her wine and the waiter’s time. Then he grabbed her hand and pulled her down from the stool, into his arms. Her chest pressed against his, molding to him like she was supposed to. “For the record, Jake wasn’t the type of guy who would want you to get a salad you hated. He was a stand-up dude.”
“Good to know. I’ll keep his number in case you ever make me cry again.”
“Fuck that,” Dylan said. He dipped her into a kiss that was much more tongue than appropriate for the setting. “I lied. He was an asshole.”
Dani’s cheeks turned five shades of pink and she giggled into his chest. “Let’s go before we get kicked out.”