Page 103 of The Exception

Cat dipped down the hall and came back with half of her eyeliner missing. “You can’t hide from us,” she said, menacingly as she wiped the other eye.

“I wasn’t hiding.”

Emma took the seat next to Dani. “Bull crap. You said you had to work but no one believed you so Dani drove by on her way to the restaurant and saw your car.”

“And you all came here instead?”

“Someone was going to see this dress,” Dani said, gesturing to her outfit.

Sonya went to the kitchen to get a glass. “I was working. I just got done earlier than expected.”

“And you didn’t call? Oh my God. Is this ice cream?” Dani flicked the spoon like it offended her and looked at Emma. “She’s turned into Cat.”

Cat gave Dani the finger and took a bite of the ice cream. “Sonya, this can’t continue. You’ve been holed up either at work or here for days.”

Sonya looked around her condo at the remnants of her sulking—balled up tissues on the end tables and dirty plates on the counter. Cat was right. She was spiraling.

“It’s not continuing,” Sonya said. “I had a very productive meeting with Abi today.” She paused to push down the quiver in her voice. “I understand where I went wrong in my preceptorship and I… I—”

Her voice petered out to a raspy half-cry, and all three of her friends gaped at her.

“Oh my God,” Cat whispered.

“Sonya this is ridiculous!” Emma pushed to her feet, her heel wobbling in Sonya’s carpet. She paused to kick her shoes forcefully into the corner.

“I’m fine, I just—” The tears were free-falling now and Sonya couldn’t bat at them fast enough.

“You’re not fine and this isn’t about your job. You can get away with that at work, but we know you. We know you’re not crying into your ice cream because you messed up at work. Where’s the regroup, refocus, re—whatever? Huh? Because this—” She waved a hand in front of Sonya. “—this is not that.”

Emma was right and it only made Sonya sob harder. She dropped onto the couch between Cat and Dani, her face in her palms. “I know. Everything about this is different. It just hurts too much. I can’t rationalize my way out of it.”

Cat wrapped her in a hug. “That’s your gut telling you it’s stronger than your brain, Sonya. Even that big brain of yours.”

Sonya sniffed a laugh. “I just keep thinking about him graduating in a few weeks and that being the last tie we have to each other. Now that this is over.”

Emma stomped her foot like a toddler. “Oh, hogwash.”

Dani choked on the wine she was drinking from the bottle, and Cat pressed a hand to her mouth.

Even Sonya cracked a grin, but it quickly dissipated. “He’s graduating at the end of the month. He won’t be at the hospital anymore. Or, oh God, if he gets a job right away, I could run into him when he has a psych call. I didn’t think this through.”

She was panicking now, actual heart palpitations imagining their run-in in the hallway happening over and over for the rest of her life. The thought of that caused a crushing feeling beneath her breast-bone. She’d have to get a new job, or move or… it was never supposed to be like this.

“Were you wrong?” Cat asked. “Not professionally, but between the two of you.”

“Yes.”

“Do you want him to know that?”

“I do but he’s already shown me he has no interest in hearing my side of things.” She looked up, meeting Emma’s eyes and sobbed. “I can’t take it. Seeing him and not being able to talk to him.”

“Oh, Sonya.” Cat squeezed harder.

After a few moments, Sonya pulled away sniffing and Emma asked, “Do you love him?”

She ran a finger under her nose. “I think rationally that’s the only way I would feel like this—”

Dani kicked her fuzzy sock. “Try again.”

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