Page 92 of The Exception

He set his empty plate on the coffee table and pressed a kiss to Sonya’s shoulder. “Have you outgrown your taste for my cooking?”

“Hmm?”

Trav lifted her plate from her lap, drawing attention to the full baked potato and half of a chicken breast getting colder by the minute.

“Oh. No, of course not. It was delicious. I’m just—”

“Upset about Frank.”

She sighed, shoulders slumping. “Yes. And we’re not supposed to discuss it outside of work.”

“That would be true if he were still a patient. Which he’s not.” He ran a knuckle over her cheek. “Don’t make up rules to avoid telling me how you’re feeling.”

“I’m not. I know you understand. But I don’t know how I’m feeling and that’s the problem. Part of me is very aware that this happens all the time in our line of work. But another part of me keeps whispering, ‘do more.’”

Trav moved closer, pulling her into his side. “That little voice will torture you if you let it. Once he leaves our wing, there’s nothing any of us can do. Not even a superwoman like yourself.”

She sniffed and ran a hand beneath her nose. “Look at you, being the voice of reason.”

“I have my moments.”

“I know.” She turned to press a kiss to his mouth. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I just hate this feeling of helplessness. I’m not used to sitting back and letting things happen.”

He understood that better than she knew. Watching her face crumble at work today, not being able to do anything about it—it took all of his strength.

Now, he took her face between his hands, hoping he could make up for it. “That’s hardly what you’re doing, Sonya. Your hands are tied. Frank knows that, or he wouldn’t have said what he said.”

“That was the worst part, you know? He looked so sorry for disappointing me on top of everything else he was going through. I thought about pushing that back on him. Using that guilt to get him to do what I wanted him to do.” She shook her head. “He needs to want to do it. Guilt won’t work and neither will asking him to have blind faith in us.”

“You’re absolutely right. As usual.”

Sonya chewed her lip, nodding to herself. “I guess all we can do is hope he finds whatever it is that will make him see things differently.”

“I really hope he does.”

“Me too.” She shifted to her knees beside him, throwing a leg over him until she was seated in his lap. “Wanna take my mind off of this for a while?”

His fingers slipped beneath her tank top. “For as long as you want.”

Thirty-five

Sonya left early the next morning, the spot on Trav’s new mattress that had only ever belonged to her left cold and smelling like vanilla. Trav rolled over and pressed his face into her pillow, fighting the urge to waste the morning in that same position.

It was his first day off in weeks and a part of him actually wished it was a hospital day so they wouldn’t have to spend the day apart.

He laughed at himself. He was fucking gone over this woman.

He squeezed open an eyelid to check the time, wondering if it would be too obvious if he dropped off some leftovers at the front desk for her lunch. It would be, and he wouldn’t do it, but he did do a mental countdown of the days until they could quit sneaking around. The first time in his life that he’d actually felt something for a woman and he had to spend ninety-percent of his time pretending he didn’t.

After a shower and shave, Trav found himself reading the same page of a textbook for the fifth time and decided homework was out for the day too. It wasn’t just that he was lonely and bored, though that was a big part of it. His mind mulled over another worry in its back corners.

Last night, he’d told Sonya that there was nothing else she could do for Frank, and he’d meant it. Professionally, their hands were tied. He couldn’t bear the thought of her beating herself up over it, though, and he also couldn’t shake the feeling that, for him, it wasn’t as cut and dry.

He recognized the look in Frank’s eyes when he’d bailed on his treatment plan. Defiance mixed with resignation. Frank was in the middle of the worst kind of weak moment, the kind where you’ve fooled yourself into thinking it’s a strong one. Trav had been in that place. He knew what it was like to convince yourself that your inner demons might just know what’s right for you after all. Or at the very least, that the battle was too lopsided to keep up the fight.

And his demons looked a lot like Frank’s.

He closed his book and pushed away from the kitchen island, his restlessness manifesting into the kind of pacing that used to drive his bunkmates crazy. Last night the hopelessness in Sonya’s eyes had stuck with him long after they’d shifted from talking about Frank to enjoying each other’s company. It still nagged at him today. And so did the feeling that he, unlike her, could do something about it and was choosing not to.

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