Page 99 of The Exception

“I was thinking about you the entire time! I was trying to anticipate every punishment Abi could give you to figure out recovery plans for all of them.”

“I needed you in the moment, Sonya! Not six stops down the road.” He grabbed the back of his neck, squeezing.

Sonya shook her head. “You’re not seeing the bigger picture. Being sent to ED is the best possible outcome. You’ll get that trauma experience on a more consistent basis and still get to graduate on time.”

“And my father gets to hold another fuck up he had to help me get out of over my head for the rest of my life. It’s a real win-win.”

His sarcasm stung. It was another sign that this conversation was headed someplace Sonya didn’t want to go and her mind worked to find an off ramp before it was too late.

“I know you’re angry now, but it’s going to be okay.”

Trav cocked his head to one side and folded his arms over his chest. “You still don’t get it. I couldn’t give a shit about everything that happened back there. I’m angry because you were right there with me but notwithme. You know how that feels, right?”

Sonya’s gaze dropped to her feet. “You know I do.”

“I know going to see Frank was against the rules, but I thought I’d given you enough evidence that I can be a good paramedic. Instead of bringing any of that up, you let one incident define me and my entire internship.”

Sonya opened her mouth to speak but snapped it shut again just as quickly. Trav was the one who didn’t get it. He was able to go off to ED like nothing ever happened. Even if people found out the story, he’d only have to deal with it for a few weeks until he graduated. It wasn’t going to follow him into his career as a paramedic. If that one incident was going to define anyone, it was Sonya. She was the one who was left working in psych under a disappointed mentor and with a failed stint as a preceptor tarnishing her record.

But that was the way it should be. She shouldn’t be able to walk away without consequences for setting him up to make such a colossal error in judgement. Trav had every right to be angry with her, but not for what happened in Abi’s office. He should be angry with her for putting him on a path to end up there in the first place.

“We should talk about this later. You have to get to the ED and I need to get back to—”

He cut her off. “This isn’t going to work out, is it?”

Trav ran that hand through his hair and it sent Sonya’s heart racing. For once, she wished she couldn’t read him as well as she could because she didn’t want to already know what he was leading up to.

“What do you mean?”

Trav gestured between the two of them. “Us. Maybe you were right when you said the only relationship we should have is in here. But we don’t even have that anymore, do we?”

“I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true.”

Sonya shoved her hands into the pockets of her scrubs, digging her nails into her palms until it hurt. It was Hawaii all over again. Another man was telling her he wanted to end things instead of building them.

Was this really happening? Was she really getting dumped for the second time in less than a year? It had to be some kind of record.

This time felt different, though. Before, she’d been able to lean on the things that had always kept her on track to overcome that moment. Now, there were no mental lists being developed; there were no plans for reflecting, regrouping, refocusing or revising just waiting to be implemented.

Instead, all Sonya could do was beat herself up because she should’ve seen this coming. There was always going to be a push and pull between them, and a relationship where they couldn’t meet in the middle was always going to burn out. The events of the last few days just made it run its course even faster.

Realizing it was bound to end eventually, didn’t make that moment any less heartbreaking.

“If that’s what you want.” Her voice sounded robotically calm even to herself.

“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”

“What do you want me to say, Trav? I’m not going to beg you to change your mind.”

“Tell me what you want! Tell me I’m wrong! Just get out of your head and tell me how you feel!”

“If we keep going this way it’s going to become a fight, and I’m not going to fight with you in this stairwell!”

Trav’s jaw tightened and though his eyes were still soft and pleading, the rest of him was hardening right in front of her. Everything in her screamed for her to do something… anything to stop that transformation but she couldn’t force the words out.

It was too late anyway. In her few seconds of indecision, his eyes had gone cold. He was looking at her the same way he looked at his father, and that only meant one thing.

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