Page 61 of Wish Lists and Road Trips

“No,” she said, her voice low. “We have all night.”

I was going to use every minute of it.

I’ve heard people use the phrase “Now I can die happy” but until that moment—standing under the icy moon and flickering stars, Nick’s mouth and hands moving over me—I’d never understood what it meant. And now, his back plastered to the door of our room, looking at me like he wanted to devour me, I wasn’t entirely sure I hadn’t already passed on.

“Nothing has to happen if you don’t want it to,” he said. His voice was doing that growly thing again and I could tell the thought of me stopping this here was killing him. Hell, it was killing me and I had no intention of it.

“Are you turning me down?” I breathed.

“No, sweetheart.”

My legs squeezed together involuntarily. The first time he’d called me that it had been condescending, exasperated. Now it was so affectionate, I wanted to get it tattooed across my chest.

“I’m just making sure this is okay,” he said. He stepped closer. The corner of his mouth lifted, probably in reference to the swoony look on my face, and a shiver wracked my body. He pressed his fingers to my cheek. Just as quickly as I’d gotten the smile, it fell. “You’re freezing.”

I was, but I wasn’t sure that was why I was shaking. This thing that was about to happen had my body in a state of pulsing anticipation. But it was also a little terrifying. I was twenty-one when I slept with someone for the first time, and it was Sean. I couldn’t say it wasn’t good sometimes, but there was always this undercurrent of hierarchy. He was the experienced one. He was the one who chose me. I should feel lucky.

Nick rubbed his hands over my arms, something entirely different than that in his eyes. Something . . . reverent.

“You’re taking care of me again,” I whispered even as I dissolved against his chest.

He responded with a grunt of acknowledgment but he didn’t stop. He smoothed my hair away from my neck and pressed his warm palms to my skin, giving me his body heat. I thought of the way I’d demanded he stop looking out for me at the airport. Now all I wanted was to be wrapped in his arms and coddled.

Walk me through this, Nick. I’m out of my depth.

I pressed my face into the cotton of his long-sleeved T-shirt, breathing in the scent of frost and skin. “Your shirt is wet from the snow,” I whispered. I wasn’t just being obvious, I wanted him to take it off.

It worked. He let me go to tug it over his head, and my throat made a little “eek” sound.All that skin. Right there.

I reached a tentative hand out, exploring his broad chest, the six distinct ridges over the flat plane of his belly. I dragged my flattened hands over his shoulders, down his biceps, touching all of the pieces of him that I’d shamelessly gawked at from the passenger seat of the Rover.

Nick watched, lips parted and eyes hazy as I studied every dip and curve of muscle like I was going to be tested later. When I ran my finger along the dark trail of hair leading into black boxers that peeked from his jeans, his stomach muscles bunched.

“The eyes still have it,” I said shakily, reminding him of our card game. “But there are some serious contenders for second-best physical attribute.”

His smile was playful exasperation and it felt like a fluttering in my chest. “Are you done?”

I definitely wasn’t. At the edge of his Adonis belt, a little white line puckered his skin. I pressed my thumb over it. “Appendix?”

“Yes.” He tugged me closer, kissing a spot beneath my ear that made my head flop over like a ragdoll. His hands mapped me now, down my hips, around to squeeze my butt, soft then greedy while he murmured against my skin.

“I was in fifth grade.” He moved to my neck. “Alex was in the hospital at the same time getting his first pacemaker. We thought it was cool, but my mom definitely didn’t.” He pressed his teeth against my pounding pulse. “As soon as I got back to school, I checked out all of these books on nutrition from the library. Thought maybe I could keep all of my other organs from stressing her out.”

I blinked up at him, wondering how many of these little stories he kept tucked away. “I want you to tell me every thought you’ve ever had, Nick.”

He laughed, scooping me off the ground. “Later.”

I held his cheeks and kissed him for the two steps it took for him to set me on his bed. The sheets were bunched up against the wall, his pillow folded in half from earlier when he was asleep here. His scent was everywhere and it felt like I was climbing inside of him.

Nick dropped to his knees and pulled off the faux-shearling boots that I’d bought at Target and just ruined in the snow. Stripping off my socks, he held my freezing bare feet against his belly to warm them. I wiggled my toes making him laugh. The sound was like sunshine.

“Better?” he asked.

“Yes.”

His hands ran up my ankles and over my thighs, warming me through my jeans. When I reached down and unbuttoned them, his eyes went dark.

“Need some help?” A whisper of a smile crossed his lips.

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