Page 37 of The Fate Factor

“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice suddenly raspy. “Did that hurt?”

“No, it feels good. Thank you.”

He curves forward so I can lift his shirt a little higher than I dared to, revealing more freckles on his lower back that match the ones on his stomach. The ones I shouldn’t know about.

I quickly refocus on the purple and red streaks like claw marks wrapped around his side. “God, this looks so painful.”

“I really appreciate this, Noel. I know you didn’t agree to hang out with me to play nurse.” He scratches his neck. “I’ll be better in no time. I’ll take you somewhere fun, okay?”

The guilt in his voice is too much. “It’s fine, Jamie. Really. You’re actually doing me a favor.”

He snorts. “Sure.”

“I’m serious.” He looks at me over his shoulder, and my cheeks heat like the surface of the sun under his attention. “I… may have invited myself over here because I was trying to avoid something.”

He shifts then, and he’s suddenly closer. One big shoulder practically nestled against my breastbone. I pray he can’t feel my heart pick up speed. “Avoid what?”

I turn him away again and press the ice more firmly against his skin, as if that might contain him. “The house.”

“Your grandmother’s house? Seems like it would be hard to avoid when you’re staying there.”

“It’s surprisingly not.” I gesture to his living room, my current escape. “And not just now, I mean over the last two years. It used to be my favorite place, and now…” It feels like a pair of pants that don’t fit right anymore. Uncomfortable when it used to be like a second skin. “I can’t bring myself to stay inside those walls for longer than I have to, which I know is counter-productive to my whole reason for being here.”

“I thought you were here for work.”

Right. I did sort of make it seem that way. “It’s complicated.”

“How mysterious.”

“Sorry, it’s just kind of embarrassing. I work freelance right now, but there’s a permanent position up for grabs. My boss said she wants to give it to me, except I have to do some work on myself first. So I came here to do it.”

“What kind of work?” he asks, and I immediately wish I hadn’t started down this road with him, a virtual stranger. But I also really like the way he’s said this, incredulous on my behalf. The way Kate had been. All I’ve felt about it so far is tired and blank and stressed.

I stare at the back of his neck, chewing on my words. I suppose I’ve been privy to some pretty intimate details of Jamie’s life. And in my vision, I saw myself being far more vulnerable with him than this minor confession.

“I’ve been having trouble feeling things.”

“Like…” He gestures to his temple, teasing the psychic elephant between us, and I manage a laugh.

“No. Like regular things. It’s affecting my designs. My job. My Nana passed two months ago, and I haven’t cried. It’s weird right? I mean, she was eighty, and she hadn’t been reallyherefor two years. It wasn’t exactly tragic, but… it was tragic to me.”

As soon as they’re out, I wish I could gather the words back. I might as well have just handed him a note that said:Psst,careful.This one’s a little broken.

“Noel,” he says, turning toward me again. The ice pack falls away from his ribs, and I tut at him, pretending to fuss with fitting it back under his sweatshirt.

“Sorry,” I say. “Ugh. That was… too much.”

“It wasn’t.”

I look up and those deep dark eyes are back on mine. There goes that spinning top again. “Come on,” I say. “I can’t reach.” I set my hand to the base of his neck, squeezing slightly to reposition him. The muscles there are like granite, strung tight in the way mine sometimes get in the winter, when my shoulders are forever up near my ears to ward off the cold.

I dig my thumb a little harder, and this time his head flops backward, his hair tickling my chin. “Fuuuck. Can you keep doing that?”

“Someone’s easy,” I joke, but on a real note, I think he might crave this fussing on a cellular level. He’s practically purring at my touch, his body going completely lax beneath my fingers. “Did you decide to store every stress you’ve ever had in this spot right here or did it land there on its own?”

He laughs quietly. “I’m just not used to lying around on this couch all day. I didn’t realize how badly I was jacking up the rest of my body.”

“Well, you need to stretch more. Maybe on the way to the freezer to get ice.”

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