Page 59 of The Fate Factor

“We’re not… This isn’t.” I lower my voice to a harsh whisper. “The last time we talked, you left me at the fucking ER.”

“Jamie, come on.” She tucks her hair behind her ear nervously. “We were never ‘ride home from the hospital’friends.”

I glance at Em and the guys, the tips of my ears burning at the way they’re watching me with various curious expressions. They know as well as I do that my reaction here isn’t typical. I’m not even sure I have a right to it since it’s exactly what I told Greg that night—it’s not that kind of relationship—but for some reason it still feels like a slap of heat across my cheeks.

This would be easy, falling back into Kelly. I’d have to dust off my pride a little at the fact that she could totally ditch me when I needed her and I’d still be there with open arms, or an open invitation to my bed, but I could do it. It would hurt a hell of a lot less than the memory of Noel running away from me.

But it could also never feel as good as Noel taking care of me on my couch. Her hands in my hair on the fire escape.Goddamn it.

“That’s a general human compassion kind of thing, Kel.” I step around her, pulling out my wallet to toss some cash on the table for my share of the food that hasn’t even come out yet. Greg can take it home to his kids. “I’m going to head out.”

“Jamie,” Em calls, catching up to me in the parking lot.

With my knee the way it is, I can’t outrun her, so I reluctantly pull to a stop. “What?”

“That was shitty of her,” she says, tipping her head in the general direction of the bar, and I know she heard Kelly say the thing about us not being “ride home from the hospital” friends.

Jesus, this day sucks. The lastthreedays have sucked.

“Yeah. It was shitty,” I say. An early fall drizzle has cropped up while we were inside, and I tip my face to the sky, imagining it washing away the last hour of my life. Unfortunately, when I open my eyes again, I’m still in this parking lot.

“What’s going on here?” Em asks, staring at the side of my face.

“I think I’m having a moment.”

“Should I call an ambulance?”

I shake my head. “No cure.”

Em nods, tucking her hands in her coat pockets. “Is this about your psychic girlfriend?”

“Please stop.”

“Come on, Jamie.” She waves a hand at me. “I’m not wrong about that lovesick look on your face. You obviously like her.”

I give my best derisive snort.Of courseI like her. She’s beautiful, and funny, and so fucking sweet I could get a cavityjust looking at her. She’s timid in a way that makes me want to wrap my arms around her and protect her from the world like goddamn Captain America, and when I’m not playing out superhero fantasies in my head, I’m thinking about taking her clothes off.

“Liking her isn’t the problem,” I say.

“Enlighten me then.”

I mean to tell Em I don’t want it, or I’m not looking for the complication. All my standard lines that I feed Greg and the guys on a regular basis, but instead what comes tumbling out of my mouth is, “I have no business with a woman like Noel. I’ll just fuck it up.”

I may have already, I just don’t know how.

I admit I don’t see it coming when Em’s response is to drive her fist into my bicep. Hard.

“The fuck?”

“Why would you say that?”

“I’m injured, you demon.”

“I barely touched you. What is yourproblem?”

I rub at the numbness in my arm. “I’m trying to be realistic.”

“No, Jamie, you’re being a coward. You’re playing down on purpose so you don’t fail. You’ve been doing it since we were kids, and it’s starting to get real old.”

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