Page 84 of The Fate Factor

“Says who? Wes?” I don’t know who I am to talk here. I’ve made plenty of excuses for not doing the things that scared me, but I’m trying to be different, and he’s the one who inspired me to do that. It’s a shock to see Jamie Bishop unsure of himself. He’s a risk taker, a dreamer. This knee-jerk diffidence doesn’t compute. “Not everyone who runs a business has a degree in it, Jamie.”

“Sure, but most of them can understand a profit and loss statement, read a spreadsheet.” He blows out a resigned breath. “Look, Noe, it’s not just about the…” He gestures to his head, then shakes it. “I have bad instincts, okay? That gut feeling that guides people? Mine doesn’t work.”

I’m incredulous to the point of petulance on his behalf. “Give me an example.”

“When I was sixteen, I saved up enough money to get a car. I found a used Jeep Wrangler, soft top. I wanted it.” Anexpression similar to lust flashes on his face. “I don’t know, call it hyperfixation or emotional attachment to an idea, but I had to have it. So I did. Lemon would be a nice way to describe that thing.”

“It’s a car,” I say. “You were a kid.”

“I wasn’t a kid when I went to that party and ended up with a misdemeanor on my record. I wasn’t a kid when I… Becca.” We both still at her name for different reasons. My reason tastes a lot like jealousy. “The point is I get these ideas… these obsessions, and my brain conflates how badly I want it with an assurance that it will all work out. I can’t tell the difference.”

I swallow, my neck prickling. “And I removed that variable. With the vision.”

“Exactly. Becca, she was hard against me taking that chance, but I really felt like this time was different, that I wasn’t going to get this wrong. Except I always feel like that. Then, you told me I was right this time. There were at least two people who thought this was a good idea. And that was enough.”

Okay, I tell myself, working out this history. It’s fine because Ididknow he was right. It’s not dangerous for him to feel that way now given all we’ve seen.

“And Wes?”

“Look, everything happened really fast after that night on the roof. I’d just lost a six-year relationship, I was unemployed with a dream in one hand and seed money in the other, and I knew it for what it was. A once in a lifetime opportunity. The way things unfolded, I needed to make decisions right away. I needed a business plan to go to the bank with. I needed profit projections. Just the online loan application was overwhelming. I panicked. I realized that even though I knew it was the right path, there would be decisions to make daily that could sink me, so my first business decision was to take it out of my own hands.”

He looks away sharply, red washing over his cheekbones. That night at the point, he wasn’t embarrassed, butthisis something else. That was history. This is now. This is the future.

It’s starting to fall together, the way he has it in his head that the whole of his success is just some fluke, why he’s leaning so hard on another vision before he makes this decision. People have been telling him what he can’t do his whole life through one message or another. That night on the roof, I told him he could.

“Do you regret it? Going into business with him?”

He thinks for a moment. “Yes and no. I don’t think I’d be here without Wes. He carries a lot of it. But I’m not sure we’re headed to the same place. The whole thing is going through some growing pains, I guess.”

“Because you disagree about selling?”

“Maybe he’s right. Maybe I don’t take his advice and I give up a fuck ton of money just to run it into the ground on my own. Or maybe I make the right call about not selling, and the growing pains break into something better. Maybe he leaves altogether. I haven’t exactly made any big calls on my own before.”

Because I told him what to do.

“I’m not risk averse, Noel. I’ve taken a lot of them in my life, but the stakes are higher now. I have employees, business partnerships with people who I used to work for and who took a chance on me because of it. I have community initiatives I’ve worked my ass off to develop. My reputation. I know what it feels like now to be thought of as a success instead of a failure, and I don’t want to lose that feeling.” His eyes meet mine with a seriousness that rarely shows itself. “What happened on that roof was magic, Noe. You know that, right?”

I nod, but I’m a little uncomfortable with it suddenly. I want to tack an asterisk onto my agreement.Yes, it’s magic, but so are you.

What if my psychic assist only backed up his fear that he couldn’t do it alone? I’m worried maybe knowing the future wasn’t as helpful as he thinks. And I wonder what it will mean if it happens again. If I see what he wants me to. Especially now that I know about the tiny hiccups, that there are pieces that are right, but not exact.

But on the other hand, we’re together. Happy. Just like the vision showed me. If I’m looking for signs that are right in front of me, that’s the biggest of them all—the way my life has changed for the better since I followed the visions. And they’re his signs too. They always have been.

“I think,” I tell him, smoothing my palms over his chest. “That growing pains are just that. Growth.”

Jamie smiles softly at me, fingers sliding into my hair. He tilts my head, kissing me in a way that’s meant to end this conversation. “I don’t want to talk about this when we’re supposed to be celebrating you,” he says. “Let’s go back to that.”

“Okay.”

I tuck my hands around his waist, dipping under his jacket, beneath the hem of his shirt, and he jumps. “Jesus, your hands are cold.”

“Sorry.” I press them higher on his back, teasing, and he shivers.

“We have to get you some warmer clothes.” He dips to run his nose along my jaw, whispering in my ear. “Because you’re staying here.”

My stomach somersaults at hearing it out loud, this very new decision. I don’t even know the details yet, but I know it will work out. We’ll figure it out together. “Mmhmm,” I say. “I’m staying.”

His real smile is back when he plucks the hat from his head—a Fortune beanie he just added to his merch line—and pulls it over my ears. I decide right then I’m keeping it along with the hoodiesand the T-shirt I’ve acquired. “Does it look good?” I ask, tipping my shoulder and doing a little pose.

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