Page 85 of Stroke of Fate

A small body of water rests against a backdrop of orange and red-leaved trees and dense shrubbery. Sunlight glistens off the water’s surface, causing it to shimmer. It’s peaceful—just us and the calming sounds of nature.

Levi sets his backpack down on the ground and unclips the leash from Winston. “This is the spot.”

“Should you be letting him roam free?” I ask, shifting my gaze from the water to Winston, who sniffs the ground until he finds a stick to play with.

“I usually wouldn’t, but he has great recall,” Levi says, pulling out a blanket from his backpack and laying it on the ground for us to sit on. He also fills a dog bowl with water for Winston, then pulls out two bottles for us.

Sitting cross-legged, I smile as Winston makes a beeline for the water. He stops at the edge, inspecting the water with his adorable black nose. We both laugh when he tentatively dips a front paw into the water, only to retreat immediately.

“I brought him here last weekend, and he wouldn’t even go near it, so I think he’s making progress,” Levi says, watching Winston bravely try again.

“Is this where you bring all the dogs?”

“Mostly, but it depends on the dog. It’s great in summertime because they can cool down in the water.”

I wrap my arms around my legs, resting my chin on my knees. The fresh, clean air feels good. It’s not the salty sea breeze I grew up with, but it’s a smell that’s beginning to feel like home.

Or perhaps it’s the man next to me who’s beginning to feel that way—the one who’s shown me that good men still exist.The one who makes an effort. The one who stayed, even when I tried pushing him away.

And I did try to keep Levi at arm’s length for as long as possible. But somewhere along the way, our little moments became big ones. Turning my back on whatever this is doesn’t feel like the better option anymore.

“What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

I turn my head to look at Levi. “I’m thinking about home,” I admit.

His lips tip up slightly. “California?”

Not exactly, but I nod, anyway. It’s the lifeline I need to keep from saying too much.

“I grew up not far from the beach. Being close to water again feels comforting.”

“Do you miss it?”

Do I? Yes and no. It’s not like I can’t go back, and who knows where I’ll end up doing my post-graduate program.

“There’s a part of me that will always miss it. It’s home, you know?” I unwrap my arms from my legs and sit up straighter. “And I consider myself lucky to have family and friends who made it hard for me to leave.”

“Why did you leave, then?” Levi clears his throat. “I know you said you wanted a fresh start, but it doesn’t sound like it was an easy decision.”

Even though Hunter is the last person I want to bring up, I don’t want Levi to feel like I’m keeping something from him. Or act like I have this secret life I don’t want him to know about.

Everyone has a past, and the good and bad parts shape us. Some people come into your life and deserve to know both.

Being in a long-term relationship that didn’t work out doesn’t make me unique. And it certainly doesn’t make Levi less deserving of knowing why I wanted to start over.

So, I take a deep, brave breath and just say it. “I left because my ex-boyfriend cheated on me last semester. Or at least, that’s when I found out about it.” Who knows how long it had been happening behind my back? “And I wanted to start somewhere new. A place where I wasn’t constantly reminded that I wasn’t enough for someone.”

I’ve never admitted the last part to anyone. Not even to myself. Next to me, Levi curses under his breath. But I can’t get myself to look at him yet. It’s easier to stare at a ball of fluff than at the man who makes me feel like I matter.

Levi’s voice sounds vulnerable as he asks, “Do you still love him?”

“God, no,” I huff out a weak laugh. “Don’t get me wrong, I cared about him. But that was part of the problem. I cared so much that I was blind to so many things that hinted at him being unfaithful.” I pluck at a blade of grass from a small patch growing between the stony soil. “What he did is unforgivable. Now, I kind of hate him.” This time, I meet Levi’s gaze. “Does that make me a bad person?”

His face softens, and he takes my hand in his. “No, Bear. That makes youhuman.”

I manage a weak smile. “It’s been hard to trust again. To trust myself that next time I’ll see the signs.”

“You shouldn’t have to see any signs,” Levi says, sounding upset on my behalf. “He fucked up, Bear, and that’s on him, not you.”

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