Page 120 of Saints & Sinners

Her eyes widened slightly as she glanced behind her before quickly shutting the door and stepping out into the corridor. I didn’t care that her roommates could have heard all of that atthat moment in time, not one fucking bit.

She exhaled sharply, but I didn’t let her get a word out.

“I tell myself that it doesn’t matter. That you don’t matter. That I could walk away and be fine. But that’s a lie. Because you are everywhere. You’re in my damn head when I wake up, when I try to sleep, when I step into a room and expect to see you. It’s—” I dragged a hand down my face, frustrated at myself. “It’s fucking annoying.”

A small breath of laughter escaped her, barely there, but it was enough to make something shift in my chest.

I swallowed. “And then, when you’re not there, when I don’t see you—it’s worse. It feels like something is missing. Like I’m missing something I didn’t even know I needed.”

Her lips parted slightly, but she said nothing.

So, I took a step closer. “I don’t deserve you. You know that. I’ve screwed up more times than I can count, and I will screw up a thousand times more. But if there’s even a single part of you that wants me, that feels the same—” my voice dropped lower, rougher, more desperate than I meant it to be “—I need you tell me.”

I just wanted to hear her say it.

I needed it because I was slowly losing my mind.

Her lips parted, and my whole world narrowed in on her. But before she could speak, a voice cut through us, slicing that moment between us to ribbons.

“Mr Cain.”

Grace flinched slightly, snapping her head to where a Celestial stood, arms crossed, and his gaze locked firmly on me.

“You’re out of your sector,” he said coolly. “You’re in the competition. You should be preparing instead of playing visiting hours.”

Grace took a small step back. No. Not now.

I clenched my fists. “I—”

“Now, Cain.”

I clenched my teeth as Grace looked between us. I wanted to tell her to wait. To tell her this conversation wasn’t over. But instead, I did what I always did: I swallowed it down, shoved it deep into the part of me that never got to have good things, and stepped back.

Her expression fell, but she quickly masked it.

I took one last look at her before turning and following the Celestial out of the Healers Sector.

I didn’t get to tell her anything else. And she didn’t get to say whatever the hell she was about to say.

And something in me whispered that we’d just run out of time.

Chapter Fifty-Six

I stood by the window, staring out into the dark expanse of the academy grounds. Tonight, the moon hung low, casting silver light over the frost-laced grass and training grounds.

It was almost midnight.

My stomach twisted with endless nerves.

Behind me, Marnie moved around my room, pulling on the last pieces of the uniform we’d been given in the morning.

“How do I look?” Her black combat boots scuffed against the floor as she struck a mock battled pose.

At least one of us was excited.

I managed a weak smile. “Like you’re about to win this entire competition.”

“Damn right, I am.” She grinned before her expression softened. “Are you... okay?”

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