Page 76 of Saints & Sinners

“And now?” I said. “Do you no longer get them?”

He shook his head. “I haven’t had one since you joined Celestia.”

My heart cracked wide open at his admission. I didn’t even think he realized the impact those words just had on me.

“Was it because you were too busy trying to make me quit?” I tried joking. It was terrible timing.

Though it somehow worked when he chuckled softly. “Maybe,” he said. “Or maybe you just... I don’t know. You made things feel different.”

My breath hitched slightly. “Different how?”

He hesitated, his gaze flicking away for a moment before finding mine again. “Like you being here reminded me that maybe not everything has to be so dark and twisted. Maybe there’s... still a way to hold onto something good.”

My heart stumbled in my chest. Hunter, the one who rarely let anyone in, who wanted me to quit on the first day, had just said something that stripped away at every wall he’d built aroundhimself.

“So does that make us... friends now?” I asked softly, trying to ignore the flutter of nerves in my chest.

He stared at me for a moment, then, he shook his head, and a quiet, almost resigned chuckle escaped his lips. “No,” he said. “I don’t think we could everbejust friends.”

I supposed he was right. But then, what were we?

We became quiet for a minute, and then my hand lifted, almost of its own accord, brushing against his shoulder. “I’m sorry by the way—about tonight. I know it didn’t work out how you’d hoped,” I said quietly, “maybe we could try again next week—”

He hushed me, shaking his head as he leaned in, and our foreheads touched. Suddenly, all the tension and confusion of the night faded, replaced by this moment only. I was a solid being yet melting from his warmth, and just as I started whispering his name, he pressed his lips to mine.

The kiss was soft and tentative at first, but it quickly deepened with a fire sparking to life as our hands tangled in each other’s hair, pulling each other closer.

Hunter’s hands found my waist, pulling me into his lap as he kissed me with a hunger that mirrored my own. His touch was rough yet careful, forbidden yet so unlawfully right. His fingers moved along my back as if he needed to feel every inch of me to know I was real. I let my fingers trace the lines of his shoulders, neck, and toned chest until his warmth seeped into me, making everything else disappear.

He tugged my shirt up, and I lifted my arms, letting him slide it off. My skin tingled as his eyes roamed over me. My chest wasn’t on the big side, and I had never done anything with a boy before, yet the way Hunter’s gaze filled with something deep, something lustful, I felt alive.

Yeah... we could never be friends.

But I also knew deep down that this was a mistake—that therewere heavy reasons why this shouldn’t happen. I could see the same war in Hunter’s eyes as he pulled back for only a second, but neither of us stopped.

Our breaths grew ragged with each kiss, with each touch and caress, but just as I began to unbuckle his belt, he froze. His hand stilled, his grip loosening as he pulled back. His forehead pressed against mine, and his eyes remained closed as he fought to regain control. “Grace,” he breathed, voice thick with restraint. “We can’t—”

I nodded, though I felt drawn for just one more kiss. No, a thousand more.

I leaned in again, and he took my mouth in his like it belonged to him and only him. His hands ran up my back and into my damp curls, pulling me towards him like there was still too much space between us.

“Grace,” he said again but to me it sounded like a painful plea. When I went in again, he shook his head. “We can’t do this. I shouldn’t have...”

The words hung in the air as I kept my eyes closed, knowing that if I opened them, this moment would disappear. Maybe forever.

“I know,” I whispered thickly, like a lump had formed in my throat, and I couldn’t swallow it.

He stood, gently lifting me off him, and I blinked the sting out of my eyes as I finally came to. He reached for my shirt, his eyes soft but distant as he handed it to me. “Get dressed,” he said quietly. “I’ll wait for you downstairs.”

I nodded again, feeling hollow, as he zipped up his hoodie and left the room. Staring at the door, I clung to the shirt he had given me, wishing he would have rejected me completely rather than tell me we couldn’t do this with the known fact that it would ruin his chances as an Ascendant.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

I sniffled as I stepped into the dorm, feeling the flood of relief when I saw Brandon and Silas sitting on the sofa. Marnie was perched on the armrest as the three looked worried sick before their eyes landed on us.

Marnie stood, and I was about to run to her when someone else came out of my room.

Joe.

---