Page 62 of Milked

I set aside extra tuna for Ryder later when he woke up. I doubt he’d eaten in a while.

It was a perfect meal, full of protein and vegetables.

By the time I finished, Finn came into the kitchen, wearing only a pair of joggers.

He looked tired and stressed. I felt similarly.

I sat down at the kitchen table, but before I could eat, Finn walked over, climbed onto my lap, wrapped his arms around my neck, and placed his head on top of mine. I held him back, inhaling the woody scent from his body wash.

“We talked about bringing Ryder more into our lives a little, but—”

“But you love him,” I finished for him, knowing what he was going to say because I felt the same way.

Finn lifted his head to look at me and nodded, his green eyes wide. “Yes. I love him, Father. How does that make you…”

He worried about my feelings, but he didn’t need to. “I love him, too. We both care deeply about him, and I think he cares about us, too.”

“I agree. Are you okay with this? If not,youare my priority.Youare my first. I don’t want to choose, but I will always choose you.”

I reached for his head and pulled him into a small kiss. “I know, Precious, and I feel the same about you. While I agree Ryder needs us, I also worry that he’s only doing this as a distraction now that I understand how much pain he’s been in. If that’s the case, we should be careful of our strong feelings.”

“What we need to do is talk to him. I agree he could be in it for the sex, but remember, Father, that’s the very reason we brought him into this in the first place. We haven’t talked about deeper feelings with him yet, so he may still be on that level. Only communication will figure that out.”

I rested a hand on his cheek. “How did you get to be so smart, baby?”

“I learned from you… and a lot of therapy.”

Finn leaned down, kissed my nose, then climbed off me to sit at the table and dig into his salad.

“We need to get him to talk to us about what’s going on, too,” he said.

“Agreed. This bottling up the pain isn’t healthy.”

Chapter 21

Ryder

LikethelasttimeI was fucked, my ass was sore as hell, but it was a reminder of how much these men took care of me, even when I was at my lowest. I wasstillat my lowest, but I no longer felt alone despite having roommates. Finn and Knox had become so much more than two men I had sex with. Their tender care, support, and protection had become everything to me.

The large California King bed was empty. I sat up and glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand, which read it was just before eleven in the morning. Had I slept all night and morning?

Yesterday, I’d just buried myself, never wanting to come out of my room again. Wanting to wither away into dust. Thoughts ran through my head—horrible thoughts of leaving this world to be with her. I wasn’t a religious man, but I still hoped death wasn’t the end. But it must have been, or else I wouldn’t have been grieving so hard.

Then Finn came to the rescue and took me to his home, where he and Knox took such good care of me. It was almost as if they loved me, which was stupid. They only wanted me for the sex and to experience having a third partner. It was only temporary. Sure, they said I was theirs and shit, and they were unexpectedly kind, but that didn’t mean I had a permanent place in their hearts. In the end, I would eventually be a third wheel.

I rubbed my face, stood, and padded to the bathroom to piss and wash my hands. Then I tossed on my clothes and headed out in search of the two amazingly special men.

When I came downstairs, I found them outside, by the pool, sunning on teak lawn chairs. They looked too fancy to call them simply lawn chairs, but I had no other words for them. It must have been a warm day for them to be out there.

As soon as I stepped out, they turned to look back, and when they saw me, they both stood and came at me, pulling me into a fierce hug. The emotions threatened again, and while it hurt, it was filled with something else… hope, perhaps.

“Do you need some coffee, Rye-baby?” Finn asked.

I coughed away my emotions and nodded. “Yeah, thanks.”

As he headed to get me some coffee, Knox took my hand and led me to one of the chairs. “It’s a gorgeous day today. You should get some sun, which can be very soothing to the soul.”

“Thanks, and I don’t just mean for the… sun, but for everything.”

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