These men were like brothers to her, she loved them more than she loved her own sister. If they thought she was responsible, she wasn't sure where that would leave her. Not just physically, because she wouldn't be able to stay there if they thought she had turned into a pyromaniac, but also emotionally.
Alannah knew she was teetering.
Avoiding rather than dealing.
Sooner or later a crash was coming. Sooner rather than later.
“No one thinks you did,” Jake told her, reaching over to give her shoulder a squeeze.
“The cops did. They kept implying I was responsible. That two fires around me in two days could not be a coincidence.” It wasn't that she disagreed, it was no coincidence, but they didn't seem to buy that it was because of Jake because he hadn't been there for the second fire.
And she had to admit that was getting to her too.
She was the one who had been targeted both times. If they were really after Jake, surely they would have gone after him and not her.
“Areyou responsible?” Cole asked her, and her gaze shot to his. His brown eyes were studying her, not unkindly, but certainly not in a he was completely team Alannah kind of way either.
“It’s not a coincidence,” Jax added. “Two fires around you in two days, no way that happens by chance. And both were deliberately set.”
So he’d turned on her too? She’d known Jax since he was three and she was four, nine years longer than she’d known Cole. Surely that would have bought her at least a little bit more loyalty.
Tears stung her eyes, which already felt like they were burning, and she hated that she’d started trembling. Maybegoing there was a mistake. If Jake and his family didn't believe in her, she couldn’t be there.
Shoving away from the table she would have fled, where she wasn't quite sure, but out of this house, only Jake grabbed her wrist.
His hold on her was gentle but firm, and he tugged her around so she was facing him. “You're misinterpreting what they’re saying. No one, and I mean not a single one of us, thinks you started that fire.”
“Doesn’t sound like it,” she whispered, fighting back the tears that wanted to tumble free.
“I didn't mean it how you took it, Alannah,” Cole spoke, his voice soothing. “I meant, is there something you're not telling us. Like a bad breakup with a boyfriend who might want to hurt you. A friend you had an argument with. A client at your gym who got angry with you. An employee you had to fire. Anyone who might want to hurt you.”
“Hurt me?” That theory had never really occurred to her because Jake had been so adamant from the beginning that he believed the fire at her gym had been set by the people after his family. After hearing the whole story and everything that the Charleston Holloway family had gone through, she’d agreed.
It had seemed so logical that morning, only now, she could see why they were questioning it.
Dropping back down into her chair, Alannah shook her head even as she tried to run through every interaction she’d had with every person in her life over the last several months. “I can't think of anyone who would want to hurt me at all, let alone try to kill me.”
“What about your last relationship? How did that end?” Jax asked.
“Not excitingly. We were together for around seven months, and at first, I thought there was a spark, but the more time wespent together, the more I realized he didn't really love me. I don’t want to be with someone just because we get along well enough. Call me a romantic, but I want someone who’s obsessed, who has to see me and talk to me every day, who can't imagine life without me. And I want to feel the same about them. I want them to be the oxygen my body needs to survive.” Alannah blushed, aware she was babbling about things these guys didn't want to hear.
Before she could get too embarrassed, Jake reached out and covered her hand. “You deserve that, Alannah.”
“Never be embarrassed about knowing what you want,” Cole added. “I wish I had known what I wanted sooner.”
“You know now, and Susanna is lucky to have you,” she told him.
“I'm the lucky one.” The dreamy look on his face when he talked about his girlfriend was exactly what she wanted in a man one day.
Sometimes, it made her feel like she was being needy, but she wanted to matter to someone, wanted to be loved, wanted to be wanted. Growing up with her parents had really messed with her head.
“Truth is, I don’t think I matter to anyone enough for them to try to kill me,” she said. When Jake growled, she let out a laugh. “I didn't mean that to sound self-pitying, I just meant that I don’t think I make that kind of impression on people. The gym is doing well, no issues with employees or clients. I have good friends, no arguments or problems. And the guys I date are nice enough, but none of them are out there pining for me.”
“Their loss, sunshine.”
Shooting a grateful smile at him, she shifted her hand, which was still under his, and gave his fingers a squeeze. “Thanks, bestie, but I think you might be the only one who feels that way.”
Depressing as it was to think about, it was true. None of the guys she’d ever dated had ever been that into her. They’d liked her, maybe thought she was cool, probably thought she was pretty enough, but they didn't love her.