Page 92 of Corrupted Lies

Being anywhere without Jake felt weird.

Wrong.

It had only been four days since they’d sat out on the deck of her yacht watching as the sun set and stars blinked on one by one, but it felt like she’d lived an entire lifetime in those four days.

For four days, he’d been her everything, the only thing standing between life and death, the person making sure she was provided for, the person who taught her more about her body and what it was capable of than anyone else ever had.

Now Jake was just … gone.

It hurt.

A lot.

Alannah kept rubbing at her chest because it felt like something sharp and prickly had lodged in there. It wasn't likeshe was asking for a ring and a proposal, all she wanted was a chance for them to explore the changed feelings she had been so sure they were both experiencing.

Only now she was doubting everything.

Maybe things hadn't changed for Jake. Sometimes his ability to be so stoic about everything meant it was hard to tell if he was lying to her. Usually, she assumed he wasn't, because they were both adults and best friends, so why should he have to lie to her about anything? But today she wasn't so sure.

Shewantedhim to be lying.

Because if he wasn't, then he truly did only feel friendship for her, and she’d gone and stupidly fallen in love with him.

How veryherof her.

Falling in love with men who would never love her back seemed to be her curse. She just never thought it would include Jake.

Despite what he’d said about still wanting to be friends and not wanting anything to mess that up, it had already been messed up. They’d had sex, kissed, and she’d caught feelings, things could never really go back to the way they’d been before.

“I’ll be staying with you tonight, Alannah, you won't be alone,” Jax said from the driver’s seat of the car as he parked across the street from her building. She appreciated that, she hadn't been back to the underground parking garage since the incident, and she wasn't ready to face that yet.

She also appreciated Jax stepping up in his big brother’s absence.

Jake just walking away wasn't what she’d expected him to do regardless of whether he’d been willing to give them a shot.

You're not worth it.

Not worth it.

The insidious little voice kept whispering those words, and she was afraid that the more she heard them, the more shewould believe them. With everything else she had on her plate to deal with, the last thing she needed was for her self-worth to take another plummet.

“Appreciate it, Jax,” she said, fighting a yawn. Apparently, she’d slept for almost twelve hours after passing out in the shower on the boat. She shouldn’t be so tired, but her body felt as though she hadn't slept at all.

“Look, about, Jake, he?—”

“I'd rather not talk about it.” Alannah added a smile to soften the words, but right now she was holding onto an avalanche of emotions by a thread. One single thread. It wasn't going to take much to make her lose her grip on that thread.

“Okay, honey, but I'm here if you change your mind.”

With a nod she hoped conveyed her appreciation, they both climbed out of the car. Her body felt heavy as they crossed the street and headed into the lobby. Normally, she’d make sure to spend a little time chatting with the doorman, but today all she could manage was a watery smile.

Trudging alongside Jax, they headed into the lift to head to her floor. Usually, she took the stairs, they were a good little workout to start or end her day, but there was no way her legs could handle six flights with how she felt.

When they stepped out of the lift, Alannah felt like she was in a fog, all that hope she’d felt when she realized fire man was dead and they’d survived had vanished like a puff of smoke when Jake rejected her.

Rejected her.

Like everybody else in her life.

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