Page 113 of Breaking His Law

“I blew it.” Holding my head in my hands, I break down again. All I’ve done is cry. There can’t be any more tears left in me. “It’s all my fault.”

Maeve encases me in her warm arms. “You’ve survived worse than this,” she whispers, then kisses the top of my head.

“I miss him.” I soak her shirt in tears as she squeezes me gently. “My heart, it feels broken.”

Maeve stays quiet and lets me get it all out.

After a while, she asks, “Will you come to the coffee shop?”

I lean out of our embrace. “Mmm,” I grumble. “I don’t think I’m up to it today.”

“They have cake.”

I consider her persuading offer. “Do they have banana bread?”

“Yes.”

“You drive a hard bargain.” I finally agree because if I don’t, she’s never going to leave me alone.

Maeve claps her hands together in excitement.

Something I also haven’t felt in a while. Nothing feels exciting anymore and joy feels like an unachievable goal.

I need to start again because there is no me and Nathan anymore.

I fill my cheeks with air and drop my feet to the floor when Maeve stands up.

“We need to air out this room,” she says, looking around before making her way to open a window.

We do, and maybe burn the comforter if it’s as bad as Maeve says it is.

I catch a glimpse of myself in the wall mirror and gasp at my appearance. I look dreadful.

Spots.

Gaunt cheeks.

Puffy eyes.

Blotchy skin.

Tangled hair.

I’m ticking all the boxes I don’t want to.

“I need a shower,” I admit, finally seeing what Maeve does.

“Everything’s going to be okay.”

I suck my lips into my mouth to stop myself from crying again. “I need cake.”

And I need to start looking forward, not back.

What’s done is done.

It’s time to rebuild my life without him in it.

Which sounds absolutely awful.

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