Page 80 of Breaking His Law

29

NATHAN

Arianna looks up at me with those beautiful green eyes I’ll never be able to resist before she snuggles into my chest as we move slowly together on the dancefloor, enjoying the gentle pace of the song the orchestra is playing.

I was right; she is the most beautiful woman in the room tonight. She’s also easy-going and surprisingly relaxed, which she hasn’t been around me since she started working as my secretary, and she fits right in as if she has always been part of my family.

My brothers love her, which I knew since they were the ones who encouraged me to invite her tonight. They saw what I couldn’t or wouldn’t admit myself.

Arianna has spent the evening talking to my mother, who I know is just as smitten as I am.

When I confessed to her that I care about her, I couldn’t help myself. It was as if there was a dam of words I was holding back that made my throat feel tight, but as soon as I started telling her how I really feel, a wave of emotion overtook me and I just couldn’t stop myself. Which is new for me. And yet I feel at peace. Complete.

My brothers are right; I’ve turned into a sappy bastard, which is what they called me when Arianna excused herself to go to the restroom earlier.

With Arianna, everything feels different. She’s different and has me questioning… my entire fucking existence. Which is what I have been doing—existing, not living life to the fullest.

Fun?

I want more. But I can’t bring myself to tell her the full truth from fear of exposing myself completely.

I want walks on the beach, nights at the theater, a family perhaps. Fuck no, I’m not there yet.One step at a time, Nathan.Vacations, nights around a firepit. I want it all.

These new thoughts are so unexpected and what I always feared, yet I’m not scared or running away.

Maybe it’s because she understands me, my work, and my commitment to my job, or maybe it’s because she accepts me for who I am, flaws and all. And hell, I know Joseph calls me Mr. Crankypants, which I am a lot of the time, but in my defense, I spend the majority of my days in a state of permanent stress. Remembering every case inside and out, questioning witnesses, preparing closing arguments all while thinking on my feet and trying to maintain my composure is taking its toll.

I look down at the incredible woman who is wrapped around me. I must admit, having Arianna in my life makes me feel better. She soothes me in ways I don’t fully understand.

Maybe I need a vacation. I can’t even remember when I last took a day off and didn’t check emails or prepare for a case.

There’s no off switch in my life anymore and separating life and business has become a thing of the past. Every day seems to blend into one and before I know it, it’s the New Year and I’ve said goodbye to another three hundred and sixty-five days. Somewhere along the line I lost myself.

Does she know what she’s signing up for? Nights alone, missed dinners. Will she stick around if it all becomes too much… or not enough?

Can I have both?

“You’re going to give yourself a seizure if you don’t stop overthinking us,” Arianna pipes up. She tilts her head back, before flashing me a knowing smile.

“So you read minds now?”

“Just yours, and we’ll work everything out as we go. No pressure.”

“Could you be any more perfect?”

“Like I said, I’m not, but we’ll agree to disagree on that one.” Her voice is full of playfulness. “No more serious thoughts. Have you enjoyed yourself this evening?” She changes the subject.

“Yes, but I think I’ve spent enough money for one night.” I pull her closer to me as we dance to the slow song the band is playing.

“Well, no one said you had to bid for half the auction items.” She lays her forearms on top of my shoulders as we continue to move to the music.

“True.” But after Arianna told me it was the charity she volunteered for and how underfunded they were following cuts to their funding streams, I want to help in any way I can. And I’ve already decided on Monday I’m going to set up a monthly donation and make them our charity of the year at Hart Law, something we renew every year.

“Thank you for bidding for all those items, but tell me, have you always wanted a private tour of Lucasfilm?”

“Nope, I’d rather eat a hornet’s nest. But Eli will love it.” He’s a hugeStar Warsfan.

“That’s very sweet of you.”