Page 98 of Breaking His Law

That’s why I decided to drop an email straight after dinner informing her that I know I was wrong and whatever information she was still trying to find, to stop as we have been looking in the wrong place and that I am shifting my focus. I didn’t tell her who I was focusing on but I made it very clear that the Hart family were not involved.

I’m done with her.

And now I have to move forward with my life.

I can’t believe Nathan wants me to move in with him.

For me, it’s bigger than the step the first man took on the Moon.

Not telling him who I really am is becoming the biggest elephant in the room. Maybe he doesn’t feel it, but I do. That elephant is sitting on my shoulders every day.

I play every scenario out in my head and all roads lead to a shitty outcome, and I’ll lose him either way. Deciding to keep mum is the only way forward.

I want to live with him.

It’s so simple, really.

I read between the lines of what he said, and I know he’s scared of getting hurt because we aren’t just sex and a car ride to work together.

We are everything to each other but neither of us are willing to throw our hearts in the ring for them to be punched to death, so we’ll continue to dance around the unspoken things, knowing we are more than we can admit.

Eventually, I must drift off and a woman floats behind my eyes. She’s smiling and laughing one minute, then screaming the next… She’s lost control… joy tangled with pain… pulled between extremes… And then, piece by piece, she begins to unravel before she dissolves into the dark, her voice a blend of agony and ecstasy before she reappears, rewrapping herself in layers of hope, acceptance, and new memories, rebuilding…

38

ARI

Nathan nuzzles into my neck from behind as we slowly wake up together in the treehouse. The warmth of him wrapped around me feels like I’m being swaddled in a giant blanket of comfort and safety, a cocoon that shields us from the world outside. “Mmm, let’s stay in bed all day.” His unhurried, lazy morning voice sounds a little slurred.

“I promised your mom that I would help her with breakfast this morning.” My voice sounds groggier than his. “And she said she was going to dig out the photo albums of you as a baby.”

He groans as if embarrassed about me seeing him as a little boy, but I can feel him smiling against my shoulder. Planting soft kisses down my neck, he stalls at the top of my scar that runs all the way to the bottom of my shoulder blade and I stiffen, which I know he senses immediately.

“I’m sorry,” he rasps.

I don’t reply. Can’t.

There’s a subtle shift in the air, an awkwardness that swirls around us.

“Will you tell me about it one day?” he asks, burying his nose in my hair.

I knew it’s a question that would come sooner or later.

It’s something I’ve put off explaining, and he deserves an explanation. If he’s fully letting me into his life, I should do the same in return.

I can’t bring myself to turn around and look him in the eye because his father is so intrinsically linked to my family. The more time I spend with Nathan and learn how difficult it has been since his father’s health declined, the more it makes me want to dig a hole, bury my guilt for thinking he wronged my family and forget about it completely, because if they ever find out my true intentions at the beginning, it will cause even more pain for him and his family.

I can admit that I have my flaws, and often good people do bad things.

Kevin Taylor on the other hand, well, that’s a different story. Daniel wasn’t involved but Kevin still went free. I plan on uncovering what he did behind Nathan’s father’s back to exonerate himself. Nathan’s family are good people, nice. I should never have doubted anyone to begin with.

There’s a lot of peace within me now.

Peace with Nathan and his family.

Which is so unexpected.

Falling for the son of the man I’ve long believed to be responsible for the injustice done to my mom, dad, and sister was never supposed to happen. Yet here I am, torn between the weight of my past and the relentless tug of my heart.

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