Page 19 of Pucking Forbidden

“Fuck the rest of the world!” I cry softly, which makes him look at me again, as if he’s surprised by my vehemence. I laugh, a painful, raw sound. Maybe I was still three months from my eighteenth birthday when we met. Maybe the world would have judged him for falling for me, but legally, I was over the age of consent. And there was nothing to judge. He never said a word. He never touched me. Until today, he never kissed me. He was a perfect gentleman. “The rest of the world doesn’t know you.Ido. You didn’t do anything wrong. You kept your distance and treated me with respect. God, I was so desperate to make you fall for me becauseIdidn’t even know you felt that way.”

“No trying needed, princess. I was fucking wild for you from the day we met.” He sighs quietly, his brows furrowed. “That’s why…”

“Why you let Jamison lie to me,” I finish for him.

He jerks his chin in a nod.

“What did he do?” I ask…pleading quietly for an answer.

“Doesn’t matter now.”

I laugh in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? It absolutely matters now! He ruined your life to keep it hidden, and you let him. You wouldn’t have done that without a damn good reason, and feeling guilty for falling for me wasn’t a good enough reason, Jordan. So I want to know why.”

“Let it go, Sutton.”

“No!” I try to roll away from him, frustrated, but he reels me right back in, pressing up against me. I huff, glowering at him.

“Some things, you don’t need to know.”

“He said the same thing.”

“Well, at least we agree on something,” Jordan grunts, planting a hand on my bare ass. “He’s right. You don’t need to know.”

I close my eyes, slowly counting to five.

“What are you doing?”

“Searching for the patience not to strangle you.”

His soft chuckle grates against my womb in a way that should be illegal. “You’ve never been patient.”

“So I should just strangle you then.”

“Shit. Probably.” He laughs louder, and God, I love that sound. It’s hard to be mad at him when that sound melts me like it does. It’s deep and gritty, rusty almost. But perfect.

“Jerk,” I mumble without heat.

He squeezes my ass cheek, sobering. “I’m not telling you what he did. If that’s a dealbreaker for you, tell me now, Sutton.”

Is it?

God, is that even a question? As much as I want the truth, I’ve always wanted him more. That hasn’t changed. I don’t think it ever will. But…can I live knowing that he’s intentionally keeping something from me?

I don’t know.

“Will you at least tell me exactly why you let me believe it?” I whisper. “I know it wasn’t just because you felt guilty about me.”

He expels a sigh. “What do you want me to say?”

“The truth, obviously.” I roll my eyes, annoyed. How is that even a question?

He’s quiet for a long moment, so long I almost give up on getting an answer. But then he mutters a soft curse. “Had I pushed the issue, the fallout would have hurt you. You would have felt like you were choosing between me and him, and I didn’t want that to happen. He always loved you beyond reason. I figured you were better off with him than with me. I didn’t have a goddamn thing to offer you at that point, and I was facing potential jailtime. You didn’t need to be mixed up in that. So I just…didn’t correct you the day you came to see me.”

“You chose for me.”

“Yeah. Had I known…” He swallows hard, regret in his eyes. “Well, maybe I would have chosen differently. I don’t fucking know. But I thought I was doing right by you, giving you the best chance to keep what was left of your family intact.”

I process his response for a moment, trying to sort out how I feel about it. I should be pissed. He made a decision for me that was mine to make, one that changed both of our lives. But without even knowing exactly what my brother did, it’s so damn hard to say he was wrong. I’m driving blind here, grasping at straws.

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