Page 76 of Summer Kisses

I wanted to say that Jonathan wouldn't approve, but I didn't want to make the situation worse. "That's okay. I'd prefer to walk. I'll see you later."

I stepped off the porch, and this time, Brady didn't stop me. I couldn't help but feel like an outsider. Jonathan was upset that Brady had helped me. He said it was because it looked like a favor, but it felt like something far worse. Like I wasn't part of the family. That I never would be.

It was something about the way he'd separated me from Brady and talked about me like I wasn't there. Would Jonathan ever accept me as part of the family? Did it matter when our relationship wasn't real?

I walked on the path that pedestrians shared with bikers and ran parallel to the road. It meandered around the island, occasionally ducking beneath palm trees. Normally I enjoyed walks, but today, I was gutted.

I'd lost my parents in an accident. I was worried I'd lose more people that were important to me. Maybe that's why I was hesitant to cross the line with Brady. It would hurt too much to lose anyone else.

Would I always be an outsider? As much as Brady's parents acted like they were happy for us, Jonathan had always been reserved. Maybe he felt like I wasn't right for Brady.

If that was the case, then there was no way we had a future. I couldn't marry their son if they weren't okay with that.

It was too small of a town, and there wasn't enough island for us to all live here in harmony if one person wasn't okay with it.

By the time I arrived home, I was bathed in sweat and my feet hurt because I wasn't used to walking long distances in sandals.

Inside, I stripped off my clothes and got into the tub in the master bedroom. I'd started to think of this bathroom as mine. But it wasn't. Neither was the bedroom or the house. This was all temporary. And it was time I started distancing myself from Brady.

It was a nice fantasy while it lasted. Even if we finished out this farce of an engagement, there wasn't a future for me and Brady. His family would never be okay with me.

The truth hurt. His family would never be mine.

There was another pesky thought I couldn't dismiss. Did Brady feel sorry for me? Is that why he befriended me all those years ago? Was I a charity case to him?

Old insecurities roared to the surface.

When my skin had wrinkled, I got out of the bath, not feeling any better than when I got in. Brady still wasn't home, and I wasn't sure what to think about that. That's when I realized I'd missed dinner. I was supposed to eat at his parents. I put together a sandwich and ate it standing in the kitchen.

I tried to think about what I'd say to Brady when he returned home, but I couldn't formulate a plan other than creatingdistance, taking a step back from our relationship, and sticking to the plan.

I was exhausted from the emotional turmoil of the day, and since Brady wasn't home, I gathered my things and got into Dalton's bed. Recently, he'd removed all his belongings except for the bed. I'd washed the sheets, probably because I knew something like this would happen.

I crawled into the unfamiliar bed, tossing and turning for hours, expecting Brady to come home, but he never did.

I wasn't sure what it meant. But every time I woke up, and glanced at the clock, I'd check for Brady's truck. It was never there.

I finally slept a bit longer in the morning, but then the alarm went off, and I had to get ready for work.

I showered in the guest bathroom. I was unnerved by the untouched bed in the master. I hurried to work without eating breakfast. I was desperate to get out of the house. I wanted to stop thinking about our current situation, even if it were only for a few hours.

At work, everyone was buzzing about the start of the new program and the attention it was garnering. But I had a pit in my stomach because it felt like a lie. Without the Kingstons' support, we wouldn't have a program, and he was probably going to withdraw it. Everything I'd worked so hard for would fall apart.

I'd have to convince the library to allocate additional monies to the program, or I'd have to end it when the initial contribution ran out.

But for now, it was funded, even if the source wasn't happy about it. I'd do the best I could so that I could prove how good the program was. Who knew? Maybe other libraries would adopt it, and I'd eventually get a job at one of those.

Maybe I'd leave the island where I wouldn't have to run into Brady and his family. For the first time, it sounded like agood idea. Could I leave the island that had always been my home? The last place I lived with my parents? And then my grandparents?

I never saw myself leaving, even when I asked Brady what he would do if I pursued employment elsewhere. It wasn't a serious consideration, but now I couldn't imagine staying here if we broke up.

Forget maintaining our friendship. It would be too hard to live on the island and watch him date and then inevitably marry someone else. I'd always know that his family hadn't approved of me, and it was a small island. No one would forget that we were engaged at one time.

I'd receive pitying looks, and they'd talk about poor Hazel behind my back. How Brady moved on, and I remained single. I couldn't see myself dating anyone else. It had always been Brady for me.

I tried to focus on work and the first day of the program, but I was a mess.

I verified the list of students that were arriving from the elementary school and greeted them as they got off the bus. I led them to the children's section where we had various areas for them to congregate. One of the tables was for homework, another for arts and crafts. There was a puzzle, Lego, and game section, and even a video game section. But I didn't tell the kids about the video games.

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