Page 19 of Desperate Times

“Okay, don't say I didn't warn you.”

“Good thing Jahsir came home when he did! I was one post away from breaking into your auntie’s house and snatching y’all up out of there.”

“You're crazy, girl. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Crim, so much.”

Jahsir

Iknew if I had told Crimson ahead of time that we were going to my mama’s crib, she would have found a way to get out of it. Zahara had already informed me that they had stopped speaking. While there was no love lost, I knew it was important to get them back on good terms. I was right. Seeing Red interact with my mama and sister like she did in the past. Quickly, they embraced her like they did when she was a teenager, bringing everything full circle. Now that things were smoothed over with my family, it was time to smooth things over with hers.

I had all but begged Crimson to come over to Venus’ house to hang out. Rashad was going stir crazy on house arrest. He had hit me up through text, saying he couldn’t talk with ears around. But my boy was stressed. He told me Venus was putting pressure on him to bring some money in.Now I didn’t know how he planned to do that when he couldn’t even leave the crib, but he said she’d been pressing him. I warned him about how much he splurged on her. And I know that sounds fucked up, because you should splurge on your lady. But Venus reminded me of Ms. Ruby, which meant nothing he did, or no amount of money would ever be good enough for her.

Between the pressure of ensuring her lifestyle and being on house arrest at her crib, Venus was getting on his nerves. He said it was ‘only so much in house pussy’ he could take. I told him we’d come through to add some distance between him and Venus. The only problem was, Red wasn’t fuckin with them. She was still very much upset about the issue with Ruby. She also couldn’t accept that she knew nothing over the past few years. At first, I thought she was dragging her anger out, but I had to put myself in her shoes. Feeling betrayed or left out by the ones closest to you would feel like a dagger to most people. I washappy that she and I had mended our issues, but something told me Rashad and Venus wouldn’t be so lucky.

The table was cluttered with cards and empty glasses, all but one. Crimson hadn’t sipped on anything all evening. She barely uttered a word unless she was celebrating when she and I won two hands of Spades. This was crazy, because earlier today when we ate at my Mama crib, she was happy-go-lucky. She was the exact opposite now.

“What's up with you, girl?” Venus nudged her. “You haven’t said much.”

“Nothing to say, really. I'm just enjoying the game.” Venus nodded, becoming more aware of the tension between the two of them.

“Aye, best out of five?” Rashad asked as he poured himself another shot of Hennessy.

“Word. Let's do it,” I added.

“Actually, Jah, can we go?”

“What's wrong?” I asked, leaning into her so only the two of us could hear what I said. “You good?”

She sighed, her face displaying anguish. She appeared to be experiencing some sort of internal struggle. But when the next words left her lips, I knew where the night was headed. “I just wanna know,” Crimson blurted out, causing me to shake my head.

“Please don’t start, Crim,” Venus interjected. “Why can’t you just be okay with everyone being back, safe and sound?”

“Because everyone being back safe and sound is not addressing the elephant in the room. But if we can’t be real, I don’t have anything to say.” Crimson stood, gathering her things. “This is exactly why I didn't wanna come over here. I’m not about to phony kick it.”

“BFF, please.” Venus rolled her eyes, shuffling the cards.

Finally, Crimson turned to her cousin, allowing her feelings to lead her words. “Rashad. What was your problem with me that you didn’t put me on the visitors list?”

“Because Crimson. I didn’t want you in there. I was trying to protect you.”

“For four years?!”

“Yes, for four years! Everybody knows that when you’re locked up, your loved ones are, too. I couldn’t subject you to that, Crim. You would have been at visits twice a week and made yourself available for every phone call. What kind of life is that?”

“A life that would have been decided by the person living it! You didn’t have an issue keeping Venus on the list or in the loop. What's the difference?”

Rashad said nothing, and neither did I. Crimson was pissed, understandably so, and, at the end of the day, she had questions. Furthermore, I was not about to step between her and her family, even if he was my best friend. Respectfully, I let them continue on.

“Ain’t got shit to say now big cousin?”

“Crimson, don’t talk to him like that!”

“This my cousin, I can say whatever the fuck I want to say to him! I’m not some bitch off the streets Venus, don’t ever think you gon check me when it comes to my blood. You dun got too damn comfortable with your smart-ass comments over the years. That’s ova with.”

“Red,” I interjected.

“No, Jah. I’ve already told you how I felt. Now it's time for them to know, too.” She snatched away from me. “Venus, you made it very clear that it's you and Rashad, right?! Cool, now this is me and him. Mind your business. All of y’all are acting like I don’t have the right to be pissed off.”

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