Page 2 of Desperate Times

“You’re welcome boo. Oh, I’mma do a barbecue next Saturday. Come hang out, I'm not taking no for an answer.”

“You will if I can’t find somebody to watch Scarlett.”

“Ruby will watch her, I'm sure. If not, I’ll see if my sister wouldn’t mind coming over to watch her for you. Either way, you’ll be there.”

“Okay, girl!”

One thing about Venus, she was gonna be there for me every time and talk shit in the process. That’s how we were. There was no shade with us, just shit talking and true dependability. I tried not to press her too much. Just as much as I was struggling, missing my cousin Rashad, she was too. They were only together for a few months when he got locked up. While she was doing great at holding him down, I knew she felt his absence too.

I knew not to argue with Venus. She was my fun ride or die. All of her parties were lit, and I definitely needed some time outside of parenting. Everything was a party for Venus. Promotion at work, party. You lost 5 pounds; party. Venus was loud, reckless, and loving. If she said I was going, I was going; but not on no bossy shit. Moreso, I knew I’d have a good time. It was good to have someone around who refused to let you sit too long in your own mess.

two

. . .

Crimson

Most people looked forward to Fridays, but lately I wasn’t one of them. My little check would be eaten up before I even saw it. Reality set in as I sat on the porch in front of Auntie Ruby's house, scrolling through my banking app. At midnight, I had a deposit of $1400.00. Now, only 17 hours later, I sat with $800. For most people, that would be cool. But I knew that the moment I walked in to get Scarlett, Ruby would have her hand out asking for her rent money. I scrolled the app one more time, hoping somehow the numbers had changed. Maybe I could dispute a charge, or maybe I glanced at it too quickly, and I had more money than I thought. Nope, the balance was still the same, which meant I would have to finesse my way out of this.

When I entered her home, the whiff of smoked turkey hit my nostrils, reminding me I hadn't eaten today. And probably still wouldn’t knowing my aunt's stingy ass. The faint sound of Whitney Houston’s I Have Nothing hummed in the background. And while the savory scent of food floated in the air, I could alsosmell a hint of Fabuloso. She must’ve been in her zone today, cooking and cleaning.Maybe she was in a good enough mood to give me a break, I hoped.

“Hey, Auntie. Where’s my baby girl at?” I asked, taking my shoes off. Auntie Ruby never allowed shoes in her house. She was also a germaphobe and kept Lysol on the table by the door and hand sanitizer.

“Hey there. You made it just in time. Scarlett is upstairs sleeping. I just put her down. Do you have my money? It's Friday, I know you got paid,” she announced.

Damn, she was annoying as hell. She counted my money more than I did. I never had a chance to see a full check because the payday loans would snatch my money at midnight, then here she came asking for her cut.

“I’m getting ready to Zelle it to you now. $400, right?”

“You mean $1400.”

“Auntie. Can you please cut me some slack? You’re charging me $400 to watch Scarlett, and all she does is sleep and pee. Then you’re charging me a stack to lay my head in your attic. I’ll never be able to save or catch up, for that matter, if I'm giving you my whole check.”

“You mean the attic that has been converted into a one-bed and one-bath apartment? You already getting a discount. I should be charging you more. Before you moved in, I was planning to rent it out for $1800.”

$1800 for a one-bedroom is insanity, I thought. “Yes, it's decent for sure. And I appreciate it, but-”

“I'll tell you what.” She added, cutting me off. “Why don’t you put Scarlett in daycare and pay them triple what you are paying me. You can also go somewhere and pay market rent since you are complaining about a measly thousand dollars! Whatever you decide, I need my money now; I’m on my way to play bingo.”

“I can only spare $700 right now. I have to keep myself and Scarlett fed.”

“When you get the rest, add another $100 to that. Consider that your late fee. I’m just preparing you for the real world, Crimson, it ain't personal.”

“Sure as hell feels that way,” I mumbled.

“Are you eating dinner here tonight? I made turkey wings, wild rice, cornbread, and lima beans.”

My face was filled with shock when that lady offered me something to eat. When I say that she was money hungry and charged for everything, it was an understatement. The fact that she cooked this big meal and was offering me some was insane. Hell, when we were growing up, she calculated what they gave her for stamps, and how much they gave her for me. She bought me food with my portion only and I better not ask for shit else when I ran out.

“Yeah, auntie, I’mma make a plate. Thank you.”

“Okay, I’m gone. Lock up.”

The past week seemed to have flown by. Auntie Ruby appeared to be in a better mood all week. She was extremely helpful, which she always is. But she was supportive without complaining, snide remarks, or draining my pockets in the process. I knew something had to be up when she agreed to watch Scarlett while I went to the BBQ, and she let me use her car.She probably won at the casino or playing bingo, I thought. She had a glow about her, too, so she probably had a new man as well. Either way, I wasn’t questioning it. I was riding the wave of her happiness, which decreased my stress for the time being.

My first time out since Scarlett was born, and I must admit I was self-conscious. I was thicker, which wasn’t a problem; I welcomed the curves my little angel gave me. It was this stubborn ass belly fat and these overly juicy titties that had me on edge. I dressed my body the best way I knew how. I wanted to be comfortable and sexy at the same time. I threw on some cut-up jeans, a graphic tee, and some Air Maxs. Being ‘broke’ made me grateful that I knew how to do my own hair. After some mousse and rods, my curls were popping.

After applying my Fenty gloss, I stepped out of the car and was immediately greeted by the aroma of BBQ smoke and marijuana smoke. It was indeed a backyard party. The music blasted on the speakers and immediately, I felt the energy. A small crowd lingered out in front. I spoke, then made my way past them, ready to absorb the good vibes.