Page 23 of Desperate Times

Also, I could only imagine the kind of pressure he felt taking on a woman and a baby. But Jahsir and I were friends before lovers. We could do this, as long as I learned to trust him again and let my guard completely down. I reached over and stole apiece of his funnel cake. A soft grin tugged at the corner of his mouth, and it grew wider once I put it in my mouth.

“Your food always tasted better than mine.” I cheesed.

“You gon’ eat off my plate all night?” He taunted, watching me devour more of his fried dough.

I licked some powdered sugar off my lip, locking eyes with him. “Long as you let me.”

His grin deepened. “Don’t get yourself in trouble, Red. I’ll take you down in front of all these people and won’t think twice. You know what time it is.” He warned me.

Crimson

Iwas getting back to my happy place, sort of. This morning, Jahsir basically put me out. He said I needed to get back to enjoying what I loved most: fashion, shopping, and finding my creativity again. ‘Give yourself a Self Care Saturday,’ he encouraged me. Jahsir surprised me with his growth in compassion and knowledge over the years. Before he left, he was a rough, smart street nigga. Now, he was very much into self-preservation. He was still with the shits, but also more compassionate and seemed to understand what a woman truly needed. He put a stack in my hand and dared me to resist.

The only issue was Scarlett. Well, I wouldn’t say she was an issue, more so my little broke bestie, who I’d have to lug to store after store with me. While Jahsir offered to keep her so I could have the time for myself, I declined. This was one of the first times since she was born that I could truly be in the moment with her without worrying about this bill or the next. I was happy to walk around the mall with her. Pushing her in her stroller while being complimented on her beauty was the highlight of our time. When it was her nap time, I used it to get my nails done and do a no-chip pedicure.

One of my last stops was the fabric store. Prom season was approaching. For the past three years, with the exception of last year, I have been making dresses. I accepted no more than four clients and they had to have a design in mind. Those girls wanted the most intricate dresses, with little to no money. I’d prick my fingers trying to bring their visions to life and only charge them $500. They'd also be responsible for providing the fabric, which wasn’t expensive. That was me being generous. With the time I put in and attention to detail, my dresses should start at $1000. I smiled thinking about Jahsir surprising me with my sketchbook.He even remembered that I said I’d name my shop Creme’ De La Crimson.

Aside from my paid clients, I’d make three additional dresses for free, which was why I was at the fabric store. These dresses were for the girls who had absolutely nothing. I donated them to the police station on the Low End, since that was the only place accepting donations. I was happy to support underserved youth. That was me at one point. I became emotional thinking about how I was wearing the latest and living carefree one day, and the next, my mother was dead, and I became a nobody in my aunt's house. That was when I really got into fashion. She wasn’t trying to buy me shit. Instead, I made what I could and was well noticed because of it. Now, as I loaded fabric bags into the back seat with Scarlett strapped in her car seat, I felt the blessing of that full-circle moment, I was meant to do this.

Scarlett and I were on our way back to Jahsir’s place. Feeling free at first, I sang old Destiny's Child songs. But on the last stretch of the ride, I rode in silence. Scarlett was starting to stay awake longer and was learning to entertain herself with spit bubbles and exploring her hands and voice. I enjoyed the symphony of her coos and babbling over music any day. Twenty minutes later, we were back at the loft with Jahsir assisting me with Scarlett and the items I procured while shopping. He paused when we got to the door and stopped me.

“You know I want to take you out on a real date, but I'm still trying to stay under the radar. Also, what I really want to do requires you to be away from Lil Mama for a bit. I know you don’t trust too many people with her, so until we can vet a nanny, we’re a little limited on what we can do together.”

“It's cool, Jah. I know what you are capable of. Besides, you’ve been away for so long, I prefer to be in more intimate spaces with you. I’m not really ready to share you with the world yet.”

“Cool, after you.” he smiled, opening the door for us.

My mouth hung up. The loft was decorated beautifully, illuminated by candlelight. My eyes circle the room, making note of what our date would be. I saw two massage tables, two canvases, and a Japanese chef. For a moment, I stood, taking in this stunning scene he created. His loft was a vision on its own. But now, it was bathed in the silky glow of candlelight while R&B from the early 2000s set a sensual backdrop for us.

“Jah, this is beautiful. So fuckin pretty in here, oh my goodness.” I raved.

“This is Sherrie. She’s our in-house sitter for the night. So, kiss lil mama goodbye so we can start our date.”

I beamed on the inside and outside. Kissing Scarlett as instructed, I handed her to Sherrie, who assured me she’d be fine. They disappeared upstairs, and I stood, still in awe. “Jah, this is too much.”

“It's never too much for you. What do you want to do first? Dinner, painting, or massages?”

“As if you even have to ask,” I grinned.

“Right.” He replied, taking my hand into his. “Follow me.”

Jahsir led me to the terrace, which had a hibachi set up. This was something out of a movie. His loft was one thing, but the terrace itself overlooked Lake Michigan. It was the perfect backdrop for dinner under the stars and city lights.

The hibachi chef entertained us by toying with his egg, making it disappear into his hat, and then cracking it so it could form a heart. We were given a cup of Saki, which immediately hit my bloodstream. It was new to him, and I was surprised that he actually enjoyed it. After the chef entertained us with his skills,we were served our meal. The teriyaki vegetables, rice, and shrimp were delicious. Jah had the same thing I had, with chicken added to his. After filling our bellies, we headed to part two of the date. We both sat by the canvases outlined with whatwe were to paint. Mine was a beautiful sunset and beach. His was the same, but his theme was nightfall.

"I know you’re an artist, Jah, don’t be trying to outshine me?"

“With that smile, I could never,” he gazed at me, tucking his bottom lip into his mouth.

Blushing, I nodded, then reached for my paintbrush. The chef brought us another serving of Saki, and we sipped casually while immersing ourselves into our work. Initially, we focused on putting our best effort into the pictures. Again, Jah was an artist on his own. He often got in trouble for placing graffiti on various surfaces throughout Mulholland Falls. Then his mother and uncle encouraged him to hone his craft a little more. After taking various courses, he refined his skills, so I had no doubt that his canvas would have the potential to win a Carnegie Art Award by the time we finished.

As the evening unfolded, our conversation drifted to the past before everything got complicated. Jahsir finally let me know where he’d been the past few years. I hate to admit it, but I was impressed. He’d made a name for himself overseas. He thrived in smaller countries, using the opportunity to delve deeper into his creativity. He created it under the name ‘Sir Jah’. He said the sales from his pieces and sculptures had garnered him more than any heist could. I was proud of him, and skeptical at the same time, but this wasn’t the time to discuss it.

“This was fun, Jah.” I smiled as one of the massage therapists took a picture of us with out canvases. “Thank you. Maybe I should check on Scarlett? How long do we have Sherrie for?”

“As long as we need her. You want to go check on her then wash the day off? It's time for our massages.”

“You want to come with me?” I asked, shocking myself. Jah’s eyes glossed over as he took in my offer. Then he said,

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