Page 46 of Actually Yours

Bella and I exchange a look.Do we want her to be alone tonight?

“If that’s what you want? Are you sure you’ll be OK?”

She responds with a limp nod, closing her eyes. A picture of weariness.

“Right,” Bella decides. “Well, Jake, it makes sense for you to drop me off first. Is that OK?”

“Of course, just point me in the right direction.”

She gives me her address and we fall into silence, the two of us throwing worried glances in Amelia’s direction.

“You’ll make sure she gets up to her apartment safely?” Bella asks when we’re stopped in front of the house she shares with her husband. Her face is creased with concern and I hasten to reassure her. She needs to know I’d never let anything happen to Amelia.

“Of course. She’s safe with me.”

Bella flashes me a smile, a grateful smile that makes me feel ten feet tall. “Thank you. Make sure you pop into the café tomorrow. You’ve earned yourself a brownie on the house.”

My mouth instantly fills with saliva at the thought of this. The Love, Lilly brownie is legendary around Melbourne and I’m already looking forward to biting into my promised free one.

“Done.”

Bella reaches into the front seat to kiss her friend on the cheek, rousing her briefly from her slumber. “Millie, I’m leaving you with Jake now. Is that OK?”

Amelia’s lips tip up, her eyes stay closed. “Of course. Jake’s the best.”

My chest puffs up and Bella lets out an amused-sounding snort.

“Great. I’ll call you tomorrow to check up on you. Drink lots of water before bed. Clearly those two cocktails were a lethal combination.”

Amelia waves her hand in the direction of Bella’s voice. “Bye Bella! Thanks for rescuing me.”

Bella gives her one last kiss on the cheek before doing the same to me. “I like you,” she whispers into my ear, shocking me, “so much better than your brother.”

And with that bombshell, she opens the car door, skipping down the front path and into the house. Where her husband is no doubt waiting with open arms. I’ve only seen them interact when Daniel has come in to visit his wife at the cafe, but the two are the very epitome of two people deeply in love with each other. Watching them together makes me ache for something I didn’t know I wanted.

“Home time?” Amelia’s sleepy voice pulls me from my thoughts.

“Yes, let’s get you home.”

I put some music on to fill what is suddenly a different sort of silence. With Bella out of the car, the buffer she afforded me between me and my big feelings for the woman sitting in my passenger seat is now gone.

“You like Taylor Swift?” I turn to see Amelia now awake, watching me with her brown eyes wide in her pale face.

“Eh.” I make a so-so gesture with my hand as we sit at a red light. “But I know you do.”

It is one of the many things I know about Amelia that I probably shouldn’t.

“I love her,” she admits, her tone filled with reverence. “She writes songs like she’s been reading my diary.”

“You keep a diary?” There’s a smile in my voice as I think about this.

“Shhh.” She turns up the music and leans her head back, her eyes closing again as she mouths the words to ‘All Too Well’. I can’t believe I know the name of this song.

I listen intently as she sings along, identifying completely with the idea of being OK, but not fine at all, and there’s a twinge in my chest as I hear the truth in the words she’s singing. What sort of pain is Amelia hiding behind her bright smile and her quick wit? It feels like there’s a lot there to unpack.

“This is the best song she’s ever written,” she says when the ten-minute Taylor’s version ends. We’ve been sitting in the car outside her apartment waiting for it to finish, both wrapped in the haunting melody of what I can now hear is a deeply sad song. But there’s something so strong and confident in the way she sings the lyrics. I wonder if that’s why Amelia connects with it so much. She’s been through so much and has come out stronger than she’s realised.

“I like it.” My simple praise for her favourite song earns me a smile and I gesture out her window with my head. “Ready to go up?”

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