Page 51 of Actually Yours

“I’m not a therapist, Millie.” She takes my hand and squeezes it. “It’s just something I’ve observed. Maybe something for you to think about?”

My tear ducts stand at attention as I look at the sympathy on Bella’s face.Have I really been choosing these Mr. Wrongs as a way not to get my heart truly broken? Is that why I can’t seem to let myself give in to the thought of a certain someone? Because deep down I’m scared to be in something real?

“I have some stuff to sort through,” I mumble, my shoulders slumping under the weight of it all. “Maybe I’m more messed up than I thought?”

“We’re all messed up in some way,” she says with a watery smile of her own. “Remember how long Daniel kept me at arm’s length because he feared getting hurt? Everyone has baggage by the time they get to our age.”

It was true; Bella’s husband had been terrified to let her close to him, guarding his heart that had been broken after the death of his mum. It had taken a lot of time and patience before Bella finally got him to open up.

“You just need to find someone worth taking the chance on. And when you meet that someone, you need to be brave enough to let that person in.”

Her last words are drowned out by the tinkle of the bell sounding, announcing a new customer.

“Jake!”

My head darts up and I’m instantly entranced by his green eyes, already zeroed in on mine.

“Ladies.” His deep voice, like always, is a balm for my jangled nerves. “It’s good to see you.”

I attempt to respond but my tongue has forgotten how to work, so I send him a smile instead, hoping I don’t look as deranged as I feel.

“You sit here with Millie while I get you your usual.” Bella skips off behind the counter, leaving the two of us to stare at each other. In silence because, all of a sudden, I have so much I want to say to him and I don’t know where to start.

“Are you OK?”

His voice, his damn voice is so soothing, I want to lie in bed and have him talk me to sleep.

I nod. Still no words.

“Are you sure?” His eyebrows are drawn into a point between his eyes. He looks really concerned.

Time to get it together, Amelia.

“Eh, it’s been a long week.”

“Want to talk about it?”

I do. I do so much want to talk about it with him that it scares me.

“I’m all talked out.” I motion to where Bella is flitting about, making his coffee. “But thanks.”

My phone chirps, the alarm I set to remind me to go to work. It’s been that sort of week, where simple things like getting to my job may slip through the cracks.

“I’ve got to go.” I’m reluctant to leave him, annoyed that we’ve only had a minuscule amount of time together. Most of it with me being mute. “I have to get to work.”

He stands at the same time as me. “I’ll walk you out.”

I want to protest, to tell him I can walk myself out without help, but then I also want more time with him. So…

“OK.”

“I’ll be right back, Bella,” he tells my friend as we walk to the door, her responding smile and wink not subtle at all.

“Take your time,” she yells after us, delight coating her voice.

Jake opens the door and motions me to walk in front of him, falling into step beside me as we walk down the block to where I’d parked my car.

“Do you have any plans for the weekend?” He sounds nervous, and I glance up to see him watching me closely.

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