Page 62 of Actually Yours

She hums softly under her breath. “It’s an old 80s power ballad. My mum and dad loved to listen to these sorts of songs and belt them out at the top of their lungs.” She stops, a strange expression crossing her face.

“What is it?” I pull her even closer until we are chest to chest.

“It’s just that I have so few memories of my parents together and happy. This one hit me hard.” Her hand moves away from my shoulder and rubs the spot above her heart.

“Want to talk about it?”

She shakes her head. “There’s not much to talk about. You know my dad used to work a lot. He was away all the time when I was growing up. Until one day, he just didn’t come home. That’s why this memory is so unsettling; I’ve only ever remembered the bad times, when there were clearly some good mixed in there.”

“That’s human nature,” I reassure her. “To remember things through a particular lens.”

She peers up at me through her long lashes. “Do you do that?”

I think about it.Do I?“I guess my life growing up is coloured by the arrival of Robby. I don’t really remember a time when I didn’t feel responsible for him. When I was the one free to be the little kid, you know?”

“I can see that. Robby would have taken up all the space. He still does.”

I laugh, a bitter sound. “My parents had given up having any more kids after trying for years. And then he ‘blessed’ us with his arrival.”Bigquotation marks around the word blessed. My hands return to her waist like a magnet and I continue. “They were thrilled to have another baby, and even though I was seven and still a kid, I was forced to grow up pretty quickly. To allow them the luxury of babying him without me in the way.”

“That’s tough.” She squeezes my shoulders in sympathy.

“I’d never really thought of it that way, but yeah. It sucked. What’s worse is that I’m still that way with Robby. I’m still picking up his pieces.”

Amelia freezes under my hands and I shake her. “Do not even go there. I’m not talking about you. You are the best thing that Robby ever brought into my life.”

Her smile is wide and blinding, and I don’t care that I may have said too much. Because it’s true: every single mess Robby has made that I’ve had to clean up is worth the time I now get to spend with her.

“Have you heard from him? How’s the band going?” She laughs as she asks this.

“He’s gone so quiet that my mum’s been calling me in a panic, worried about her baby boy. You remember how overprotective she is of him.”

She nods. “Oh, I remember. I don’t think she ever thought I was good enough for Robby.”

I grunt, feeling this like a blow. How ridiculous; Robby wasn’t worthy of breathing the same air as Amelia. “Don’t take it personally. Mum wants him to find a woman who will look after him the way we all have.”

“I could’ve done that,” she argues.

“But why would you want to?”

She nibbles on her lip, blowing out a deep breath. “I can’t even keep a plant alive. I’m not sure I would’ve been able to keep Robby alive long-term.”

“Nor should you have to. A partnership goes both ways. I’m pretty sure Robby wasn’t bringing anything to the table.”

Amelia remains silent, perhaps not wanting to badmouth my brother to me, but her expression reveals all of her inner thoughts. She agrees with everything I’ve said.

“Either way, I don’t think I’m that type of woman. You know, the nurturing kind?”

I gape at her.Is she crazy?“Um, Amelia, what gave you that impression?”

Her head tilts, and she stares up at me. Unspeaking.

“I watched you take care of Robby, when he never returned the favour. I watch you look after your friends. I watch you be kind to all these men you’re dating.” The word men, plural, is wrenched out of me. “You don’t see it, but you are nurturing and caring and considerate. And you’d make a wonderful partner, to someone who deserves you.”

She gazes at me, still not saying anything, and sweat drips down my back. Lucky I’m wearing a dark suit or else we’d be in a sweat-patch situation pretty soon.

“You really think so?” she finally asks, softly. “That’s how you see me?”

I snort. I can’t help it. “That’s how everyone but you sees you.”

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