Page 65 of Actually Yours

I shrugged. “Not really.”

His jaw had clenched, and he glared in the direction of Robby’s room.

“What did he do this time?”

I smiled at him, at his assumption that the fight had to be Robby’s fault. That he hadn’t even considered it could have been mine.

“He’s just being Robby.” I said this, knowing that if anyone was to understand how difficult life with Robby could be, it would be his brother.

Jake grunted under his breath and disappeared into the kitchen, while I flopped down onto the couch.

“You need more paintings on your walls,” I called out, unreasonably annoyed at the lack of any art or pictures in their otherwise comfortable house. Instead, there was just a large flat-screen TV and a whole heap of boy video game equipment.

“I’ll get right on it,” he said with a wry smile, putting a cup of tea in front of me. Made just how I liked it.

“Are you going back in there? To sort things out?” He gave me a curiously blank look, and I shook my head. No way was I going to make up with Robby any time soon.

“Want to watch TV out here then?”

I was shocked he offered to hang out with me, being more accustomed to him doing rapid about turns and leaving the room whenever I was around.

“Sounds good.” I handed him the remote, as I was used to doing with Robby, frowning when he returned it to me.

“You choose.”

Two simple words. A flood of warmth filled me upon hearing them, and I laughed at his appalled expression when I pressed play on the pilot episode ofGilmore Girls.And yet, he stayedsitting next to me, his mere presence offering comfort, and watched two full episodes.

“Why do they have to talk so fast?” he asked with a baffled expression as he tried to keep up with the rapid-fire dialogue. “And Rory is too young to drink so much coffee.”

I poked him for being such an “old stick-in-the-mud” and laughing together, we settled back in to watch one more episode. For three episodes we sat close on the couch, not touching, but near enough for me to feel the warmth radiating from his body. And during that time, Robby had not come out of his room. Had not even deigned to look for me. To see if I was OK. Or even still around.

“He doesn’t deserve you; you know?” Jake said, reading my mind. Not for the first time.

I sighed. I did know. And I also knew I’d probably do nothing to fix the situation, that Robby, for all his faults, was my guy. The one I’d chosen to be with.

“He’s not so bad.”

Jake opened his mouth to say something when Robby finally flounced out of his room, coming up short when he saw us together.

“Amelia? You’re still here?”

I glared at him, shifting away from Jake and standing up to confront him. Only he didn’t give me the chance. Instead, he flung himself on the ground in front of me, gesticulating wildly while he begged—literally begged—for my forgiveness. And me being the idiot that I was, I forgave him. In front of his brother, who had just told me I deserved better.

*****

And he’s still telling me this after all this time.Maybe it’s time to believe him?

“I’m sorry,” I say to him now, though I’m not sure what I’m exactly apologising for. Maybe everything that happened from that first meeting onward, from that first meeting when I should have chosen him?

“For what?” His eyebrows are drawn in confusion and his hand squeezes mine.

“For being such a hot mess that you have to keep picking up the pieces. For being the girl who you constantly need to say nice things to so I don’t cry,” I say while batting away tears.I willnotcry…this time.

He exhales. Like it pains him to hear me say this. “Amelia, I don’t say this so that you won’t cry…” He trails off at the look I’m giving him, his beautiful mouth twisting into a wry smile. “OK, I definitely hate seeing you upset. But it’s not why I tell you these things. I say it because it’s the truth and I desperately want you to believe it. To believe in yourself.”

His words floor me.Has anyone ever spoken to me this way? Instinctively knowing exactly what I need to hear?

I gather my tattered composure like a cloak around me. “That may well be true, but I’m sorry all the same. For continuing to put you in these situations.”

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