Page 69 of Actually Yours

We walk side by side but now with a crater of unspoken words between us, up the stairs leading to the ballroom. When we get to the doors, I put my hand on his arm to stop him from walking in ahead of me. I need to fix this.

“I wanted that to happen!” The words burst out of me, earning me a quick flash of his dimple. “I need you to know that.”

His gaze softens on me. “OK.”

“OK?”

He nods.

“I’m going to go find Bella.” I tilt my head towards the doors beside us. “But we’ll talk soon?”

When my mind is less frazzled by your masterful kisses, I think but don’t share.

“Yes, let’s talk soon.”

I stare up at him, memorising his face in this moment, the moment after we’d kissed for the first time. After we’d said so much. His lips are pink and rosy and slightly swollen—I did that, my inner voice whispers smugly—and his hair is tousled, the work of my fingers. He’s delightfully mussed, and I wish I wasn’t walking away from him. I wish I was walking awaywithhim.

“OK, bye.” My stupid brain says these words while my dumb hands give him a wave and my loser legs walk me away from him.

Why-oh-why am I not still out there kissing him? And how am I going to fix myself so I can make sure this all works out in the end?

“There you are!” Bella huffs, appearing from nowhere to suddenly be standing next to me. “Where have you been?”

I touch my fingers to my also swollen lips and glance back to where Jake is no longer standing. “Oh, Bella. I think I messed up. Royally messed up.”

She gives me a concerned look, taking the hand that belongs to Jake and squeezing it. “Whatever it is, we can handle it.”

I look into her earnest face and want to believe her. But then I picture the sadness in Jake’s and I wonder if there’s any way to solve this.

“Let’s go back to my place and talk this out. We’ll come up with a plan. You’ll see.”

Another plan.I groan internally.

“This plan needs to be better than your last.”

I must sound as bad as I feel, because she launches herself at me, hugging me tightly and whispering in my ear, “Whatever it is, we can make it better.”

Returning her hug, I hope, on all the shooting stars, that she’s right. That we find a way to sort out all my tangled emotions. And that in doing this, we find me a way back to Jake.

CHAPTER 14

Amelia

“You’re killing me!” Bella says through a mouthful of her breakfast muffin. “I need to know what happened last night.”

It’s been over twelve hours since the kiss to top all other kisses and I’m still processing. After vowing to come up with a plan to ‘fix’ everything, Bella had found Daniel and the three of us had left the ball (Daniel was happy to not have to be out socialising for one minute longer than needed). Once we’d returned to their house, Bella insisted I stay with them for the night, and I’d crashed in their spare room, the weight of too many emotions lulling me into a coma.

And now it’s morning. Bella turned up in my room after the sun had barely made an appearance, a cup of tea in one hand, a plate of breakfast muffins in the other.

“I don’t know where to start,” I tell her, pushing away the food, all thoughts of eating making my stomach churn.

“When I left you, you were talking with Joe. When you disappeared, I was blissfully thinking the two of you may have hit it off and you’d gone somewhere to get to know each otherbetter.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me and I laugh. Like she knew I would.

“Joe was…nice”—I cringe at the use of that word again—“but then Mike turned up—”

“—No!” she gasps, crumbs spraying from her mouth. “Mike the electrician, Mike?”

Her eyes are wide as saucers.

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