Page 81 of Actually Yours

It’s true, all three of my friends here with me tonight are close with their dads and maybe it’s not such a coincidence that these are my three married friends as well.

“Is it that simple? Have a good dad, find a good man?”

“Gosh, no!” Lilly pipes up. “I don’t think that’s what we’re saying at all.” The other two shake their heads emphatically. “I think we just don’t want you to miss out on that bond, if there’s a possibility of making it work.”

“You can totally be in a healthy, loving relationship and have a deadbeat dad,” Amy clarifies, her cheeks flushed. “One doesn’t dictate the other. But if there’s trauma associated with your dad,it may be worth sorting through. Especially since you’ve kind of pinpointed that it may be a sore point for you.”

She’s right. They all are. I need to clear the air with my dad, not for him, but for me. To have some clarity and perhaps some closure. And maybe after that, I can work on getting Jake to call me back. Because it’s my relationship with him I really, really want to work on.

“OK, you’ve convinced me. Pep talks over. Let’s have one more drink before I kick you guys out so I can get my beauty sleep. Big day for me tomorrow.”

They raise their half-finished drinks in the air and we toast. To being a grown-up and fixing relationships with people, even if they don’t deserve it.

*****

AMELIA: He’s late.

BELLA: It’s 10.01 a.m., give him some slack.

AMELIA: I’ve given him ten years.

BELLA: Fair. OK, give him ten more minutes, then bounce. Come to the café and I’ll feed you cake.

I’m smiling at this message and scrolling through to find a GIF of a pig devouring cake when a shadow over me grabs my attention.

“Amelia?”

The question in his voice, like he doesn’t completely recognise me, pierces my heart.He’s my dad. What’s with the question mark?

“Dad?”

I do it back to him, petty, but it puts us on equal footing. A better place to start.

His eyes race over me, taking in my carefully chosen outfit of a simple white t-shirt and boyfriend jeans (thank you, Bella, for the advice) and my white blonde hair with lavender tips.He looks baffled, like he’s meeting a stranger and I’m grateful that my hair is at least similar to its natural colour and not the hot pink I was going to dye it yesterday—otherwise, he wouldn’t have recognised me at all!

“You look great,” he says with unexpected sincerity.

My heart jumps at his praise. “Thanks.”

We stare at each other in a silence that is filled with so many unsaid words.

“Do you want to sit down?” I motion to the empty seat across from me, noticing that he too, has changed in the last two years. He looks older and…happier?

“What can I get you two?” I look up to see a server, pen and paper in hand, looking at us expectantly.

“Um,” my dad scans the menu. “I’ll just have a cup of tea.”

Do we have this one thing in common?

“I’ll have the same.” I smile at the server, handing over both of the menus, watching her leave with some trepidation. Now that the logistics are over, we’ll probably have to talk.

“So, how have you been?” my dad asks, his gaze still skirting over me.

“Since when?”

He winces at the hostility in my voice and I feel a little bad.Keep it cool, Amelia. You’re just here to hear him out, not to rake him over the coals. As good as that may feel.

“It has been a while.” He nervously runs his hand over his hair, which is thinning. Another sign of the many years of his life I’d missed. “I’m sorry for that.”

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