Page 130 of Away We Go

“Yes, but I’ve really messed up. What do I do, Matteo?”

His expression grows serious. “Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

“Does he know this?”

I bite my lip. “No.”

“You two are a bunch of idiots.”

Great. Wonderful. I feel fantastic.

“Thanks for the pep talk, bro.”

He rubs his three in the morning stubble with a crooked smile. “You need to talk to him. You need to be honest about how overwhelming it has all been and admit that you’re struggling and that you’re committed to getting help. The media attention will never go away, but Nicky is pretty powerful. He can make things easier for you. I know it.”

He makes it sound so easy, and I curse myself for not having this conversation with him earlier.

“I want to see him. I want to figure this out.”

Jumping off the couch, I move about the room like a person on a mission. But with no place to go.

“You can’t do anything productive right now,” Matt laughs at me. “But I have an idea.”

He details the plan he’s been hatching and a full-blown smile grows on my face. The first of its kind I’ve worn in weeks.

“Do you think he’ll want to see me?”

“Cherry,” he sighs, like I’ve asked the world’s dumbest question. “Do you want to know what Nicky told me when he called me that day from the yacht?”

I nod so eagerly I get a neck cramp.

“He said a lot of stuff I’m going to keep between him and me. Stuff you need to hear from his lips, not mine. But the one thing he said that got me in the heart? He told me you’re all he wants. That the way he feels for you? It’s beyond the grid. Beyond anything he’s ever known. I got the sense that day that he’d give you the world if you asked for it. That if you asked that man to quit racing tomorrow, he would.”

“I’d never ask him to do that.”

He squeezes my hand. “I know. Because you feel the same way about him.”

Man, what a muppet I’ve been.

“Thanks, big bro.” This time, I pull him in for a hug. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He holds me tight and I feel I can breathe again for the first time in months. “I love you, sis. It’s all going to be alright.”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, thinking for the first time in a long time that perhaps he’s right. That me and Nicky, we’re going to be alright.

• • • • •

“You’re going to Las Vegas?” Tanya’s dark eyes shine with excitement as she all but squeals when I tell her my plan.

My and Matt’s plan, actually.

“I am.”

The morning after our heart-to-heart, when Matt and I woke up, after passing out on our parents’ couch, we booked ourselves two flights to Las Vegas. The next Grand Prix on the calendar and the one where Nicky—barring any unforeseen catastrophes—will claim the championship title.

Matt had always planned to go to surprise his best friend and celebrate with him; now I’m just tagging along, hoping Nicky will be open to hearing me out.

---